Consider this a belated Valentine's Day tribute. I have been shit busy with the renovation and I recently took Kath's great advice to sell my used furniture through a local community forum. I can't believe it, people actually buy second hand furniture. I get a bit eeekked with used things because I always think about where they have been. Thanks to my overly vivid imagination la.

We didn't do much on Valentine's Day, we just had dinner at home and a bottle of wine. Everywhere we looked that day we saw couples holding big bouquet of roses and gifts and eating dessert together. How lovey dovey. I talk to Ruby loads about life's general topics and just before V-day, we had this conversation about the type of relationships we have. Yes, it's old, yes there is no more adrenaline and that anticipation of a first date has long eluded me. Do I miss it? Sometimes but seriously I have so much to be grateful for.

I am an old soul. When I was 18, when I finally thought I could conduct an adult conversation with my dad, I had asked him, why didn't it worked out between mum and him. His answer was just, never marry someone you can't talk to. It's so damn true. As much I might have fucking hated him during my angry, Nirvana head banging days, I cannot deny that my parents were absolutely miserable for one another. On their own, they are inherently good people with good hearts but they brought out the worst in one another. I wondered for a long time, how it all started? Was the lust that irressistable? I have to admit my mother had the best fuck-me-legs and luscious jet black hair but still..........

People like Christina, Ruby, Joyce, I really consider them my best friends. They make me feel as though I can be whoever and whatever and I don't care.. It's like this with Rudi too. We poke fun of each other, we tell each other off all the time and we are just friends talking about everything. The older I am, I have come to accept that, at the end of the day; you just need that fun factor that help gets you through the day.

Again in all honesty, I really do believe that he loves me loads. Looking back at my old pictures during my fat days, even I find it so hard to love myself la. Hahaha!!!

So here' s to my best friend and I do not need February the fucking fourteen for me to tell you how much I love you. I feel that god made you just for me and besides my dad did say, when you take daughter, there is absolutely no refund!