Meet baby Matthew Fong the miracle baby

After I met my friend Queenie yesterday I can't help but to think that children are truly a miracle for those who want them. I have never met anyone who wanted a child so much. I have been doing a lot interviews with couples who want children and I am not sure if all of them want them based on good enough reasons.

The journey of having Matthew has been extremely tumultuous, she has been married eight years. After two miscarriages and desperate attempts of trying everything - western medicine, chinese medicine and alternative therapies; she was at her wit's end but nonetheless tried to remain positive.

I listened intently to her crazy routine of going to one doctor to another; trying out medicinal remedies and incessantly keeping track of her menstrual cycle. If I were her husband, I'd be so stressed till the point, I can't a get hard-on. I have never met anyone so determined to be a mother. I laughed and I wondered why women of the past were so fertile. My mother conceived me almost immediately after getting married -like after two freaking months or when we were in school, we hear about teenage chicks getting knocked up by their college boyfriends after just one fuck. And on one hand, we have my poor friend who tried and tried.


A month just before she finally fell pregnant, her doctor told her there is nothing else he could do for her because he just can't find what is wrong with her. That day when he told her that, her world caved in and she felt so hopeless. His only recommendation was to try IVF but the chances were only 50- 50.

Her husband took her for her holiday to Malaysia last Christmas and she fell pregnant ( I am so proud to be Malaysia, I feel like waving my national flag now) So, there are some prayers that get answered. I think that they as a family is so lucky is have one another. Good luck baby Matthew, it's a tough world out there. Your parents love you so much.

As for me, motherhood is not really my thing and you know how I know. I ended up being more interested in Janga - the cat.

I think it was April's birthday a few years ago that I said - When it is my turn turning 30, I think I will cry on the night of my birthday. * Gasp**

Fast forward to a few years later to present day- approximately four months before I turn 30, I surprise myself more and more at how at ease I am of the idea of turning 3-0 ( hopefully when I turn 40 I will have the same type of feeling)

Joyce asked me yesterday what how I see myself as a 30 year woman. My answer - A confident woman who is not out to please anyone and someone who feels good from within. I am glad to turn 30, my 20 something was very difficult. I was egoistic and constantly seeking to impress. I spoke before thinking about consequences and I hated how I only want to see things from my perspectives. Along the way, I lost a lot of friends- those who survived - thank you la for taking my shit when you don't have to.

When I was 26 I moved to Hong Kong, again it was so hard - starting from stratch, I didn't know anyone and I wondered why HK people are so rude and inconsiderate. I absolutely didn't understand the culture - I didn't understand why it had been a British colony for 15X years and no one really spoke English, I hated how no one bothered holding doors for you and yet I loved HK to the core. The pressure and the bloody competition. The fact that they start selling winter wear at the end tail of summer. Nothing is forever in HK. For the first time in my life, I feel that I am competing based on merits and not the fact that I am Chinese and I am not pee-ved over favoritism.

After being in HK for so long, I find myself changed - I speak to my friends and family back home in Malaysia and maybe it's not fair for me to say this but Malaysia has turned into a sad place. I actually feel fear when I walk on the streets ( after countless warnings from mum about snatch thieves/ kidnappers) I don't know how kids are growing up in Malaysia but during my childhood, it was a wholesome place to raise a family. I remembered climbing over my neighbour's house to pluck rambutans ( for some strange reason the house next door was always vacant, rumour has it that it is haunted ), BBQing my dad's koi fish ( my brother's suggestion), cycling around the neighbourhood and playing badminton with my brothers. It wasn't always easy but I was a happy child.

Something happened during my teenage years - I think it was called the Kurt Cobain, teenage angst, melancholic/ father hating/ mother blaming era descended. Looking back everyone had the same story, my parents loved me yet they don't know how to love me. All this anger I channel it into my music/ art/ writing poems about morbidity and everyone wanted to line their eyes with black eyeliner. When Kurt pulled the trigger to his head, I thought normality would be restored but apparently till now I still know of people who are stuck at grundge mode.


I have been thinking a lot of about the next decade of my life and here is my summary of it so far

1.) The reason why I refuse to be on facebook is because people who are near and dear to my heart, I keep in touch with them, the ones I don't want to are out there on-line somewhere la

2.) Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks are shoes for display only and not for women to strut around Central in. Wear comfortable shoes or risk blisters or very fucked up looking toes. I have two, you want to see?

3.) Invest in quality clothes - you seriously do not need a lot of clothes, you just need clothes that are you

4.) Brand Natalie - I am proud to say, when I go shopping with my friends, they can point things out and say - Nat this is so you! Thank you ah!

5.) Work out - not to just be thin or anything. There is nothing more satisfying than having a body that continues to surprise you in many ways.

6.) Eat better - When you work out, you try to eat better. When they say; you are what you eat, you are as well what you do not eat.

7.) Love what you do - I think this is one of the most important things. The older I get, the more certain I am of passion will at the end triumphant over the need of making money. It would be great to be able to combine both but at the end of the day, I have realised that, being happy is so much more rewarding. This hedge fund manager I know, took home USD 3 million dollars last year but however from Mondays to Thursdays, she doesn't sleep soundly. Her mind is constantly about trading. I'd love to have the type of money she makes but I love myself too much

8.) Think before you speak. I used to have such a fiery temper and a quick mouth - I can't tell you how many friends I have lost because of shit that have came out of my mouth. Now, I prefer to bite my tongue for 10 seconds before I speak or else, just develop - selective hearing.

9.) Be business savvy - by the time you're 30, you want to think about how to maximise your earnings and you need to know how to work on your finances. I have to thank my man for that because if it wasn't for him; I won't understand the importance of investments.

10.) Read because when you don't read, your soul has no depth.