It's amazing how much I think about about smoking. I think about it when I take a dump, I think about it when I am full, I think about it when I am bored, I think about it when I step outdoor, I think about it when I need to reward myself, when I am pissed off with someone, I think about it when I smell and see it. I think about it loads. In every circumstance and whenever my brain needs a filler moving from one thing to another.

Then reality hits, I no longer smoke. Hello everyone, I am Natalie and I am a smoker who has chosen to quit for the good reasons in the world; reasons I think I know and reasons I constantly need reminding.

It has been four days since I have been clean and I ever more determined to win this battle against my arch-nemesis - Mr. Philip Morris.

Hope you had a lovely weekend.

Happy Birthday again Haye and thank you for inviting me to your party. It proved to myself that I could party without smoking. It's a first in many years. Here's to your halfway to retirement!!!

I have a friend whose mum is a total one-woman show. I mean it. While her real age is not revealed to us, I am guessing it to be around 60-65. I absolutely respect women who go through the painstaking ordeal of making themself look and feel like a million bucks but my friend's mum is so far extreme, I dread to think how she looks like in the morning.

She parties with us, she tries to talk to us like she is one of the girls and how do you begin to describe her sense of style? The skirts are super short and the tops are super low - so short they sometimes make you go red because if it is your mum, you will tell her that sagging tits are not appropriate for public display. Did I even tell you that all the botox she has done has made it hard for her face to register emotions? Whether she is happy or sad, her face pretty much looks the same.

I feel sorry for her and all of us because in the proliferation of La Mer and all the miracle skin products that are deemed to be the elixir of youth, getting old is a fucking bitch! No one talks about aging in good light anymore. Everyone wants to be young. Every woman wants to look like a sweet young thing.

I checked the latest statistics for global life expectancy. A woman in HK is expected to live till 84 years of age while the men - 79 years. That's a lot of years being dependent on La Mer ain't it? I love the fact that I am older, I am embracing it because when you get older, you do get wiser and when I was young, I remember looking up to my Aunt Lucy because she had so much charisma and commanded so much presence.

What is it with all of us? When we were young, we can't wait to be the at the legal age of drinking or gambling and now we lie about our age? We can't have it all can we?

All my course materials. That text book is thicker than The bible, I am telling you

And also, Rudi and I have started social dance, we had our first class last Sunday. It was tragic, he has two left foot and I have two right foot. In a way, that's why we are meant for each other.
And if any of you want to improve your health, I am looking for guinea pigs. No guarantees if I tear or break anything okie?