My last day at work!!! My reign in Tai-Tai-dom begins today till I don't know when ( cos already got job offers)

In the last issue of HK Magazine - the editors listed out 750 things to do in HK before you drop dead and die. I highlighted on things I want to do during my reign of terror - I added some as well.


1.) Watch all of Stephen Chow’s movies
I already did. I love Stephen Chow and if it wasn't for this great man, I wouldn't have picked up my good-enough- to -curse-your-mother Cantonese and life in HK would be absolutely painful if you cannot speak this vividly harsh/ descriptive language. I love Cantonese to death - there is no other language in the world whereby you can complete the whole sentence with just curse words. Curse words that will make a sailor blush!

2.) Try to figure out what “sweep the street” means in Mong Kok slang, and then go do it
Ruby - any idea please?

3.) Pretend to be a triad
I think if people hear me curse in Cantonese, they'd already think I am one,.

4.) Live in a caged home for a night in Sham Shui Po
I am interested but I am too chicken

5.) Wear a Mickey Mouse t-shirt to Ocean Park
How can you do that, Alan Zeman would be very upset and he will dressed up as a vampire to scare me! I'd just wear Mickey ears instead.

6.) Sing karaoke around the clock at Red Box or Green Box
Very challenging when you cannot read Chinese and the English songs are just too old.

7.) Spend a whole Sunday going on open tours of houses on sale at the Peak
I cannot afford but you can't stop me from dreaming right.

8.) Pick a mobile phone number with as many 8s in it as possible
Not just the 8s, I'd add the 484848484 ( loosely translated into die rich in Cantonese)

9.) Belly dance outside Times Square
Belly dance will always be one of those things I imagine I can do well. The last time I went for Belly Dance - teacher said to me, eh please shake your ass only. I am sorry la, when I shake everything shakes, I have no concept of isolation. Sorry, sorry!

10.) Get spooked in the haunted Nam Koo Terrace
Hmmm... This activity will be considered; when I am drunk enough

11.) Wear a tailor-made cheongsam (or Mao suit if you’re a man) and visit all of Wong Kar-wai’s film sets
I tailored made my first qi pao while I was in Beijing, still have no chance of wearing it yet. Why not ya? I will even carry a handkerchief and walk around Sai Wan last at night. I think I will scare some people to death.

12.) Spend a night at Bruce Lee’s old home in Kowloon Tong. It’s now a love hotel.
Haha, I'd make Rudi dress up like Bruce Lee.

13.) Panic buy rice and cooking oil during the next typhoon 8
Ya man, I seriously don't understand this strange phenomenon. Have you seen the way HK people shop just before a Typhoon comes?It's enough food to feed a Mexican family for a month.

14.) Pick a paper hungry ghost offering in Sai Ying Pun
I was speechless when I found out how much money people who make paper offerings make. The thing I don't understand is right, since you can literally buy everything you want including paper planes, how come the replica is not the size of an actual plane but when it comes to things like PSP, mobile phones, they are made based on the actual size right.

15.) Do a Park’n’shop vs. Wellcome price comparison on soy sauce
Only if I am bored enough

16.) Take cute photo stickers of yourself
I have been wanting to do this like for ages.. I will even do the peace sign and wear a pink ribbon!!

17.) Unleash your inner geek with a cosplay costume
Who says only geeks enjoy cosplay? I can definitely tell you it's not just geeks who enjoy cosplay okie.

18.) Buy nunchaku from a Mong Kok “sports” shop
I love nunchakus but a klutz like me will end up hitting myself or breaking everything around me

19.) Eat a whole roasted goose at Yung Kee
Goose? I might have to run the whole day to burn it off, I'd go for a pigeon instead

20.) Try Mongolian hotpot at Little Sheep
I love Little Sheep but everytime I walk out from Little Sheep, I end up smelling like a Big Sheep. I tell you the smell is so pungent that even my bra smells sheep-ish

21.) Eat a whole bag of old-school White Rabbit sweets
Is this list compiled before the Melanine food scare? I call them my sweet Chinese New Year treats. Once you pop, you cannot stop. I love them but let's wait till this food scare blows over.

22.) Visit a Wan Chai strip club
I have been in HK close to 4 years; the thing is have you seen the scantily clad women dressed outside Lockhart Road, my mother looks young compare to them.

23.) Have your eyebrows threaded
Oh I am so tempted to do that. I am thinking right, do they just thread the eyebrows ?

24.) Sneak into the Four Seasons pool and listen to the underwater music
Oh really, what type of music do they play? This sounds seriously dope.

25.) Spend a day at the Landmark Mandarin Spa
Darling, since I love you so much can you prove how much you love me too.. I give you free massage for one month la.. plus stretches

26.) Rid yourself of calluses with a Shanghai-style pedicure
Or I can try those skin eating fish therapy.. eeeeeeee so ticklish!!!

27.) Eat an entire box of mooncakes
No fucking way, till today Ruby is still laughing at me. Two years ago, I was so happy that a client gave us a box of mooncake from Peninsula, I ate two at one-go. So sick that I puked in Alexandra House. Since then, mooncakes don't quite look the same to me

28.) Get an old lady to professionally beat up paper effigies of your enemies
I will be happy to provide her with a list and it starts with my................................

29.) Participate in a TVB game show
Oh my god, I have been wanting to do this like forever.

30.) Get a new ID card with a nicer mugshot by “losing” the old one
I seriously don't mind the trouble because in my current ID card I was still fat.

31.) Catch a squid in Clear Water Bay
And prawn fishing as well


Adding to the list, things I want to do

32.) Be an extra at Ocean Park's Halloween Celebration

33.) Take the tram from Sai Wan all the way to Sau Kei Wan

34.) Bask at the Mid Level escalators


Wah after writing such an extensive list right, I am damn tired.


Thank you for sharing with me your fantasies ( from my previous post) I am still collecting stories, will publish them next!