When I was in Grade 4, I failed my Maths exam for the very first time. I believe that was the first time I have ever failed anything in my life. Maybe because I am daddy's girl that I have a way higher expectation of myself compared to most people. I absolutely detest failing because failing is hardly ever an option for me. I don't know but after that failure in Grade 4, I developed a phobia for Maths. A phobia that has haunted me till today.

When I was in my teens, I remembered it was during holiday season, Alex my brother was playing in the garden. He jumped into the house dragging with him, a trail of blood. He cut himself against a metal rod embedded somewhere in the garden. Without hesitation, William my other brother jumped into the car and sped him to the emergency room. I held his wound together with my bare hands. The wound was so deep so profound, I saw right through his bones. When we got to the hospital, he was rolled to the emergency room. I stood at the side of the sink, vomitting my guts out. The smell of blood so vile, iron-like. It was that day that I developed another phobia.. A phobia for blood... A phobia that has haunted me till today.

When I was six, I remembered seeing/ hearing my mother cried. And she cried a whole lot. I don't know anyone so broken. A failed marriage. An emotionally dejected wife whose husband's love has moved on to another woman. I spent a big part of my childhood/adulthood making myself so strong and so secure, I'd hate to admit that I too have an Achilles' heel. I hate dependency and I hate people who live in la la land, thinking that when you meet the one, you are complete. I do have another phobia. A phobia for letting myself seen as vulnerable..

But you know what, I am tired being fearing, I am tired of having phobias. From now on, I am going to face them because phobias giving me a fucking excuse trying escape from things. In the end, we all die anyways....

Anyways, after three attempts. First attempt - it rained, second attempt - we went the wrong way and third one - we finally conquered Dragon's Back. Easy nice hike with beautiful views..