There is another typhoon brewing outside, this year alone I think there has been more than five Typhoon 8s and one Typhoon 9. Took Sophie down for a swim and the sea is rough.

My mind was wandering when I suddenly thought about my trip back home about four months ago. I had found out that an ex-colleague recently filed for a divorce. She got married the year before I came to HK and I liked her ex tremendously. Good looking, soft spoken - he was definitely the type of guy I'd liked to walk me to my car after a night out.

Why? What? How? I had all these questions. He beats her. He beats the living daylights out of her. The year 2008, women in my mind has the same equality as every man and yet there are still some of us subjected to domestic violence. I can't help but weep. I often thought of domestic voilence occuring in poor countries like India and yet it was right there, right below my nose and it happened to a friend I cared about.

That's life, who do we really know? No one.

We like to think we understand but that's really bullshit. We only see bits and pieces of a person, but trulywe have no inkling who they really are. All of us as people have compartments - we choose who we want to show you and who we want to hide.

When I was young, when I didn't understand why my father never came home anymore, I hate it when people tell me. Don't worry, I understand what you are going through.

FUCK YOU! Don't even start with me. How do you even begin to decipher how I feel?

Don't get me wrong, I am not angry anymore. I thank everything that happened to me. I thank my parents for showing me what could possibly go wrong with a marriage. I have no shame to admit that I grew up way before a lot of people did. I was never really into the idea of happily ever afters and that you grow up finding the one..

But life as we know is a comedian, it loves to prove us wrong. Life as it turns out for me, I am pleasantly surprised to find the one and for once, I'd like to say, I have a family of my own.

And now the eagerly anticipated unveiling of your sexual fantasies... in no particular order

Fantasy Role Plays

1.) Tarzan & Jane - You Tarzan, Me Jane! Ooooo dirty long-haired men dressed in nothing but loin cloth, swinging from one tree to another. I like!!!

2.) Teacher and Student -I am from an all girl school, it's hard to understand this fantasy but I guess if you have been bad, you deserved to be spanked - Hard!

3.) Men in Uniform - When I was young, I loved pilots. My ideal pilot - Richard Gere, those puppy dog eyes drive me mad. As I grow older and given my frequent travels, I am dissapointed to say that I have not seen a single good looking pilot- they are mostly, old and fat. If you are a hot pilot, please e-mail me your photo and rekindle my childhood fantasy. Thank you :)


4.) Dracula and Victim - I almost fell off my chair when I heard this. Oooo, I am imagining, a dark quiet night then the cursed one tempts me into his lair and give me his bite of immortality. I think secretly Dracula is a boob man, he keeps biting all these chicks with huge tits. I think I cannot qualify la.

5.) Gym instructor - Because I know how much close contacts are involved during a training session, I assure Rudi that all my instructors are gay! And they are!

6.) Doctor and Nurse - Doctor, doctor please help me because I feel the urge of being very very naughty. Hahaha!

7.) Delivery Guy/ Plumber - Oh my god, have you seen how delivery guys look like in HK? They are creepy.


Fantasy Public Places


1.) Beach - I don't know about you but for me it's better in the head than in real life. I hate walking Sophie on the beach, you know why, there is sand everywhere even between my toes. The last thing I want is sand between my crack.

2.) Public Toilet - At least the toilets are dry in HK, in Malaysia you risk breaking your Pelvic bone.

3.) Airplane toilet - Please pray there is no turbulence

4.) Confession Box in church - Dear Father, I have sinned and I have sinned bad. Will you forgive me for taining your house of worship?

5.) Changing rooms - " Miss, do you need a hand with the zipper?". Wait ah, I am co---ming!



6.) Anywhere whereby you risk caught - There is something so exciting about the fear of getting caught. It's like when you are young, your parents tell you not to play with fire. And you know better than I do, it's the risk of getting burned that thrills you more than anything. Right?







The most popular fantasies

1.) The use of sex apparatus - handcuffs, whips, thunder beads and leather - loads of leather!

2.) Threesomes - win hands down!!














Well done people thank you for your generous contributions!!!

All pictures are courtesy of Getty Images! Thank you Getty!

My last day at work!!! My reign in Tai-Tai-dom begins today till I don't know when ( cos already got job offers)

In the last issue of HK Magazine - the editors listed out 750 things to do in HK before you drop dead and die. I highlighted on things I want to do during my reign of terror - I added some as well.


1.) Watch all of Stephen Chow’s movies
I already did. I love Stephen Chow and if it wasn't for this great man, I wouldn't have picked up my good-enough- to -curse-your-mother Cantonese and life in HK would be absolutely painful if you cannot speak this vividly harsh/ descriptive language. I love Cantonese to death - there is no other language in the world whereby you can complete the whole sentence with just curse words. Curse words that will make a sailor blush!

2.) Try to figure out what “sweep the street” means in Mong Kok slang, and then go do it
Ruby - any idea please?

3.) Pretend to be a triad
I think if people hear me curse in Cantonese, they'd already think I am one,.

4.) Live in a caged home for a night in Sham Shui Po
I am interested but I am too chicken

5.) Wear a Mickey Mouse t-shirt to Ocean Park
How can you do that, Alan Zeman would be very upset and he will dressed up as a vampire to scare me! I'd just wear Mickey ears instead.

6.) Sing karaoke around the clock at Red Box or Green Box
Very challenging when you cannot read Chinese and the English songs are just too old.

7.) Spend a whole Sunday going on open tours of houses on sale at the Peak
I cannot afford but you can't stop me from dreaming right.

8.) Pick a mobile phone number with as many 8s in it as possible
Not just the 8s, I'd add the 484848484 ( loosely translated into die rich in Cantonese)

9.) Belly dance outside Times Square
Belly dance will always be one of those things I imagine I can do well. The last time I went for Belly Dance - teacher said to me, eh please shake your ass only. I am sorry la, when I shake everything shakes, I have no concept of isolation. Sorry, sorry!

10.) Get spooked in the haunted Nam Koo Terrace
Hmmm... This activity will be considered; when I am drunk enough

11.) Wear a tailor-made cheongsam (or Mao suit if you’re a man) and visit all of Wong Kar-wai’s film sets
I tailored made my first qi pao while I was in Beijing, still have no chance of wearing it yet. Why not ya? I will even carry a handkerchief and walk around Sai Wan last at night. I think I will scare some people to death.

12.) Spend a night at Bruce Lee’s old home in Kowloon Tong. It’s now a love hotel.
Haha, I'd make Rudi dress up like Bruce Lee.

13.) Panic buy rice and cooking oil during the next typhoon 8
Ya man, I seriously don't understand this strange phenomenon. Have you seen the way HK people shop just before a Typhoon comes?It's enough food to feed a Mexican family for a month.

14.) Pick a paper hungry ghost offering in Sai Ying Pun
I was speechless when I found out how much money people who make paper offerings make. The thing I don't understand is right, since you can literally buy everything you want including paper planes, how come the replica is not the size of an actual plane but when it comes to things like PSP, mobile phones, they are made based on the actual size right.

15.) Do a Park’n’shop vs. Wellcome price comparison on soy sauce
Only if I am bored enough

16.) Take cute photo stickers of yourself
I have been wanting to do this like for ages.. I will even do the peace sign and wear a pink ribbon!!

17.) Unleash your inner geek with a cosplay costume
Who says only geeks enjoy cosplay? I can definitely tell you it's not just geeks who enjoy cosplay okie.

18.) Buy nunchaku from a Mong Kok “sports” shop
I love nunchakus but a klutz like me will end up hitting myself or breaking everything around me

19.) Eat a whole roasted goose at Yung Kee
Goose? I might have to run the whole day to burn it off, I'd go for a pigeon instead

20.) Try Mongolian hotpot at Little Sheep
I love Little Sheep but everytime I walk out from Little Sheep, I end up smelling like a Big Sheep. I tell you the smell is so pungent that even my bra smells sheep-ish

21.) Eat a whole bag of old-school White Rabbit sweets
Is this list compiled before the Melanine food scare? I call them my sweet Chinese New Year treats. Once you pop, you cannot stop. I love them but let's wait till this food scare blows over.

22.) Visit a Wan Chai strip club
I have been in HK close to 4 years; the thing is have you seen the scantily clad women dressed outside Lockhart Road, my mother looks young compare to them.

23.) Have your eyebrows threaded
Oh I am so tempted to do that. I am thinking right, do they just thread the eyebrows ?

24.) Sneak into the Four Seasons pool and listen to the underwater music
Oh really, what type of music do they play? This sounds seriously dope.

25.) Spend a day at the Landmark Mandarin Spa
Darling, since I love you so much can you prove how much you love me too.. I give you free massage for one month la.. plus stretches

26.) Rid yourself of calluses with a Shanghai-style pedicure
Or I can try those skin eating fish therapy.. eeeeeeee so ticklish!!!

27.) Eat an entire box of mooncakes
No fucking way, till today Ruby is still laughing at me. Two years ago, I was so happy that a client gave us a box of mooncake from Peninsula, I ate two at one-go. So sick that I puked in Alexandra House. Since then, mooncakes don't quite look the same to me

28.) Get an old lady to professionally beat up paper effigies of your enemies
I will be happy to provide her with a list and it starts with my................................

29.) Participate in a TVB game show
Oh my god, I have been wanting to do this like forever.

30.) Get a new ID card with a nicer mugshot by “losing” the old one
I seriously don't mind the trouble because in my current ID card I was still fat.

31.) Catch a squid in Clear Water Bay
And prawn fishing as well


Adding to the list, things I want to do

32.) Be an extra at Ocean Park's Halloween Celebration

33.) Take the tram from Sai Wan all the way to Sau Kei Wan

34.) Bask at the Mid Level escalators


Wah after writing such an extensive list right, I am damn tired.


Thank you for sharing with me your fantasies ( from my previous post) I am still collecting stories, will publish them next!

Last Friday my friend J lamented over dinner that she was recently invited by a couple to do a threesome. My Peking duck rolled out of the dough and I asked if she did.

"Very gross la, please and plus they are so old okie!"- that was her answer


Maybe I am a bit weird but I was actually quite proud of her for getting that indecent proposal. This is the thing, I don't think swinging couples pick any random person for such wonderful fun! Here are the reasons why I think she was asked

1.) J is extremely sexy - she has the right curves at the all right places and she does remind me of Kimora Lee Simmons

2.) She is such a loud mouth when it comes to sex. Always talking about ham-sup shit and every little thing reminds her of sex.

3.) She is such a good-humored and friendly person, people might often take her gesture as an open invitation for sexual escapades.

Being the pat-poh that I am ( a trained journalist right) I simply wouldn't let the subject matter rest and continued to ask more questions - like if they were young would you? Al lthe girls at the table gave their take to the matter.

The consensus reached that night over dinner were if there were two guys then it would be great because men are such egoistic/competitive beings, they both will be doing their best to outperform one another. And besides women enjoy being pampered.

If there were two girls - not very great la, what is the other one supposed to do right; it's like an extra leg you don't need. Also, men are terrible at multi-tasking; they simply cannot do more than one thing at a time. Us women on the other hand are terrific multi-taskers. My best friend Christina eats KFC with one hand and drives with the other. You see what I mean right? I can't tell you how pissed off Rudi gets with me when I tell him, darling please fetch me water and he says, " Can you see I am busy?".

Since I have been telling you guys that I am now at crossroads thinking about what to do next with my career, a business idea went Ka-ching! in my head. You see people like that swinging couple, imagine the type of embarrassment they have to go through after being turned down so blatantly and since I used to do events management right - what do you think about running a business helping people realise their sexual fantasies??!!!!

Besides legal implications like not really being able to state the type of business I do in my business registration, I really think people will pay for my services. I did my research and there is a company in the UK that "specialises" in turning people's most outlandish fantasies into reality. And people do actually pay for it. One lady paid 10,000 pounds to get hers fulfilled. That's like HKD 150,000.. Man, that is really some extensive fantasy. Maybe it involves tigers and lions.. Grrrrrr!!!

I am now currently conducting a survey on sexual fantasies la and I will publish it soon. So if you have a fantasy you want to share with me, please e-mail me okie - natalietong@hotmail.com
Don't worry I won't reveal your name or tell your mother.

So the story is I am due to leave my job in about two days time; I find myself in a crossroad of decisions.

Since I fired my boss, I have registered for my personal training course which starts next month. Yes, as in a gym instructor! My ex boss said to me, I have been scratching my head thinking why you have made such a drastic decision. See, I keep telling everyone, since I work out 6 times a week; I might as well incorporate it into a job. And no I am not just going to be a personal trainer, I want to do it as a part time thingy.

Since I got into this fitness mode more than a year and a half ago, I have inspired and motivated my colleagues and peers to jump into the gym-monkey mode as well. And I think why not? I have even thought about how my business card should look like - A sillhouette of me holding a whip in one hand and a dumb bell in the other. My target customers - dirty old white men who are 100 pounds off their ideal weight. I'd definitely make them sweat their balls off! Better be very scared!!

Back to the job thingy, at this moment; I have a few options in hand and I feel a little conflicted. I don't know whether if I should go back to what I was doing before because I was doing it so well and plus once you have been doing something for so long, you already have the experience and the contacts. And plus you are at liberty to demand for a higher salary and better package so on and so forth. On the other side of the coin, maybe I should try something entirely new because if we don't try new things, we do not know how much we can extend and expand.

I feel like I am learning to swim again - when you're a kid, your parents dump you in the pool and you paddle and paddle because you have no concept of drowning. Now, the conept of drowning is something very real.

I found myself telling my friend David something I have felt for years yet I might have forgotten about it along the way. Ever since I was young, I have this notion that I was never going to be just average. I always feel that I was destined to do something. And it worries now me now than ever because I am no closer to finding it. However like I said before, I am thankful that whatever I have done in the past and continue doing now is only because of passion. I don't know if I ever will find my destiny but right now I am just letting love and interest do the talking.

And in the meanwhile, enjoy my Tai- Tai break since Rudi has granted me permission to soak in Tai- Taidom. Oh yes, in about 3 months, please call me Ms. Instructor. I'd be happy to give anyone a trial lesson.