Turning30andLovingIt

Sophie Turns 5.

2009-09-07T14:56:00.007+08:00

I was destined to have Sophie. A little less than 4 years ago, I saw an Ad at a local Park N Shop of someone giving up a Labrador Retriever for adoption. I tore the ad down and took it home. Whilst we walked home, I told Rudi, I want to name her Sophie. Bright and early the next day, I called the number and asked the owners if she was still available. She was.. and I asked Chris, what is her name and he said SuQi. Like the Taiwanese actress. SuQi/ Sophie. Easy enough for me to tweak.

Anyways, it's been good having Sophie around. She makes me laugh so much. There are days I actually wonder, how much of what we say she'd actually understand... Thank god she can't talk, or else she would be leaking a lot of our secrets to our friends...Happy birthday Sophie.

What is your SOP? You tell me now.

2009-09-01T13:21:00.003+08:00

It seems to me that the more educated we are, the more nourishment we receive, the better groomed we are, we become more and more reliant on what I call the SOP on life. Standard of Procedures. Oh god, I get so fucking annoyed when I talk about this...

Let me quote you an example, it was late one evening, I wanted to buy this traditional Chinese biscuit from this particular pastry shop down in Central. The boss said to me, I only have 5 egg tarts left, do you want it miss? I felt sorry for the old man and I said yes. He put it in a plastic bag for me and I was like, what are you doing? Can't you give me a box? He said, we only give you a box if you buy six...... Number 1 - you had 5 fucking eggtarts left wor, I can't like shit an extra one right.

Really, you must be shitting me right and plus the fact, I had no intentions to buy egg-fucking tarts in the first place. I pitied the guy and he couldn't even give me a fucking box. What kind of rule is that? Due to his obstinate ways of not relenting over a fucking box, this man I can tell you ended my relationship with his biscuits...FOR GOOD...

I don't know about you; I remembered a time when people went the extra mile to make someone else happy. There was this old sundry shop grandma used to buy rice from. The shop lady would always give me some candies when I visited. It was such a small act of gesture on her end that resulted to a lifelong revenue stream from grandma up until the time of her demise. So Why the fucking hell did we become so fucking robotic?

A few months ago, I read with a fair amount of disbelief a story about a nurse at the emergency ward not attending to a man lying outside the hospital who was then suffering from a heart attack. The excuse - not within standard of procedure. The man must make a call through 999... Harlow??? Who the fuck created this standard of procedure, I don't know...

Is it our flawed education system that numbed our brains? Is it because we are so contended with mediocracy that we just come to work and leave work feeling indifferent about anything? How come there are so many people living on earth and yet not even 10% of them are making a difference to the world? No one dares to correct anyone when things go wrong. No one dares to say, fuck you standard of procedures. Ya right, just blame it all on the system la. Afterall we all die right....

Hello, hello

2009-08-21T13:57:00.005+08:00

It's been so long since I blogged that I forgot what my password was... Looking back at my last post made a few days before my operation. It's a bit hard summarizing what I have been up to in the last two and a half months.

I had one month off during which that time, I played host to my mum and brother and my best friend came with her boyfriend...

I went back to work.. Not much to shout about..

I browsing through my mobile phone. NOW I have something to boast about - I haven't misplaced or lost or drop or broke any mobile phones and over the years in HK, I have accumulated numbers of people whom I can't even remember who they are..... Not that I am so bothered to find out who they are anyways. Because if I can't remember who they are, that means they are pretty insignificant.

Such is life and as we grow older, we tend to leave a lot of people behind. I did something recently which I thought I'd never do; my 6 feet tall ego would have dissuaded me before I even dared tried... Many years ago before I even came to HK, I had a very bad fallout with a group of friends.. Whilst I don't really bother how most of them really are, there was once person in the group that I had cared a lot for. Though we haven't seen each other in years, still there are things that reminds me fondly of her. I took the courage to ask a friend her number and called her. The conversation was brief and polite. After my call, I SMS-ed her and told her that I would be home for a week next month and if she wants to see me, I'd liked that very much...

I secretly hope she will call me because I had missed her a lot all these years but I am trying not to have too much expectation of it..

Moving on, I was watching Planet of the Apes the other day and oh my god - how the apes remind me of Michael Jackson.....and not the male apes, the female ones. I just googled - Planet of the Apes and guess what photos came out - Michael side by side with the APE.. oh wow!

I was on my last week of my one month break in June when Michael Jackson died. Funny a couple a months ago when he made his announcement that he was doing the " Curtain Call", I had hoped that he would come to HK or at least somewhere remotely nearer and less expensive for me to travel. Oh well, maybe it's better to remember him the way he used to be - vibrant, very flexible, so so talented and darker. I was really sad the day he passed - in many ways, Michael Jackson had a special meaning to each and everyone of us - children who grew up in the 1980s... When he passed on - it was the end of an era for myself.

When I look back in search of the fleeting memories that form my perception of what I'd call as my formative years - Michael Jackson had played such an intimate role. He filled my heart with love for music, a love that was sooooo simple and easy.

Michael, thank you.. If it wasn't for you. My childhood would have been so lonely and in many ways, I know you wanted to make this world a better place for children. You did, for me at least. I will miss you forever...

Phobias.

2009-05-22T12:25:00.011+08:00

When I was in Grade 4, I failed my Maths exam for the very first time. I believe that was the first time I have ever failed anything in my life. Maybe because I am daddy's girl that I have a way higher expectation of myself compared to most people. I absolutely detest failing because failing is hardly ever an option for me. I don't know but after that failure in Grade 4, I developed a phobia for Maths. A phobia that has haunted me till today.

When I was in my teens, I remembered it was during holiday season, Alex my brother was playing in the garden. He jumped into the house dragging with him, a trail of blood. He cut himself against a metal rod embedded somewhere in the garden. Without hesitation, William my other brother jumped into the car and sped him to the emergency room. I held his wound together with my bare hands. The wound was so deep so profound, I saw right through his bones. When we got to the hospital, he was rolled to the emergency room. I stood at the side of the sink, vomitting my guts out. The smell of blood so vile, iron-like. It was that day that I developed another phobia.. A phobia for blood... A phobia that has haunted me till today.

When I was six, I remembered seeing/ hearing my mother cried. And she cried a whole lot. I don't know anyone so broken. A failed marriage. An emotionally dejected wife whose husband's love has moved on to another woman. I spent a big part of my childhood/adulthood making myself so strong and so secure, I'd hate to admit that I too have an Achilles' heel. I hate dependency and I hate people who live in la la land, thinking that when you meet the one, you are complete. I do have another phobia. A phobia for letting myself seen as vulnerable..

But you know what, I am tired being fearing, I am tired of having phobias. From now on, I am going to face them because phobias giving me a fucking excuse trying escape from things. In the end, we all die anyways....

Anyways, after three attempts. First attempt - it rained, second attempt - we went the wrong way and third one - we finally conquered Dragon's Back. Easy nice hike with beautiful views..

The world famous Dragon's Back..

Shek O Village

My god daughter Moochie. Steph got her from HK Dog Rescue

Sophie likes her new godsister already..

At twilight..

So this is how the Dragon's back look like...

Me, Ruby and Steph

A miracle...

2009-05-07T13:22:00.006+08:00

Zuzi sent me a picture of her baby. Frankly I can't see anything. It looked a little like an abstract piece of art to me. Oh my god, how does something so abstract looking be a human? When my grandma passed away about two years ago, my dad told me not to feel that because grandma's cycle of life has been completed. She has continue to live on in all of us.. It makes me so sad yet it's so true.

Anyways I told Zuzi, I can't see anything and Zuzi being good old Zuzi did me a favor by breaking down the bits.

Oh my god, it is it is a BABY. How wonderful is that!!!!! Zuzi, I sure hope that your baby comes out a lot more prettier.

Updates......

2009-05-06T21:23:00.005+08:00

I have been terrible at blogging. I have been part busy, part lazy and part troubled.. I confirmed the date of my surgery two days ago and I am set to go in to remove my thyroid glands on the 6th of June. On one hand I can't wait to get over it and on the other, I am a little paranoid about having cut up and stitched back.

So much has been said about financial crisis in the last few months, it's been all we ever talk about these days. I came across a very interesting topic of argument the other day at the chamber event which I honestly think it's bollocks. The topic of discussion was if there were more women at top ranks of financial institutions, will we be in the shit we are in today? I don't think through that discussion a general consensus was met but most people leaned towards ( well because they were mainly women who attended) the suggestion that if only that were the case, the world would be a much better place. The reason - women are simply much more nurturing. Like, what the fuck?????

If we really think about people and the inherent nature of people, I can pretty much sum up that greed, the need for power, fame and the passion for $$$ is not gender exclusive. Women love power, money, fame as much as men. If we look back and trace some of the biggest historical fuck-ups of all time, there was surely a woman manipulating the situation..

The fall of the great Ching Dynasty - The ugly, buck toothed Empress Dowager Ci Xi.

French Revolution - Fatty Marie Antoinette

The fall of the Romanov Emperor - Dumb Czarina who was manipulated by evil madman/ shaman Rasputin

The Trojan war was started because of two stupid men fighting over a conniving beautiful woman.

Imelda Marcos - the ex first lady of the Philippines had more than 20000 pairs of shoes when most of her people aren't even able to find a job locally and hence the Philippines gaining notoriety as the nation of servants. Poor Filipinos and it makes me damn bloody angry.

Enough said... Dumb people like talking about dumb things. And you know what is even scarier, dumb people posing to be smart people discussing about the what ifs. Fuck this shit and you know what, just fucking deal with it and try and move on.

The house is almost done, just a few days more... I can't tell you the sense of relief sweeping over us. There is nothing quite like seeing through a project and all the bad things that happened during the process, you know it's pretty small compared to the finished product. I bought a whole new set of cutlery.I did all the picking and I feel like a bonafide lady...... Quah Quah

My dragon boat practices are drawing to a close and race day is on the 28th of May. Whilst I still feel like the weakest link, I do not for one moment doubt my willingness to try. I walk away from this learning that when you are in a group sport, you should learn how to put away your personal egos and think about everyone else and the greater good. I never used to think like that. I am one person who is very egoistic about my principles and I do not think that my principles are for bargained. It's a great lesson and I am glad Ruby got me involved. Thank you Ruby...

I planned a hike last Labour Day. The thing is, I have been making promises to take random people hiking for months now and it was high time I made good on my promise. Well, many people turned up and it was such a beautiful day for a hike as well..

Going to Beijing next week. I can't wait to see my friends in Beijing. I am going to try my best to work out everyday. One of the reasons why I hate business trips, schedules are crazy and I am too polite( try) to tell people, seriously I am one chick who hates to be entertained. Just give me my gym and I am a happy camper...

When people tell me HK is a shit hole, I tell them get out of their assholes and look around. The view at Tai Long Wan

Gerard and Peggy

Everybody wants a Sophie kinda of handshake. It's a hard job being popular

Group photo. One for memory sake

The hot ladies I work with

Why serial killers kill?

2009-04-15T23:48:00.005+08:00

Is this the face of a killer dog?

I secretly believe that my mother has obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't know anyone who checks 5 times prior to going to bed just to ensure the front door is locked. You know that song we used to sing in kindergarten about looking right and left and right again before you cross the road? Well my mother does that in multiples every time she crosses the road.

I'd to believe that all babies are born clean, innocent and unburdened by all the miseries of the world - well until our parents fucked us up with their issues. If we take a look at the criminal profiling of ALL serial killers ever recorded in history - Ted Bundy, BTK, Charles Manson - they all share one thing in common. Fucked up parents.. Can you believe it? Till he was about a teenager, Ted Bundy thought his grandmother was his biological mother and his sister was actually his real mum!

In the last 48 hours, two people have told me that they are parents in waiting. First, my lovely friend Zuzi told me yesterday morning that she is three months along and she will be having the baby in HK. Congratulations Zuzi!! I am so happy for you and Mark and just this morning Juls told me he is going to be a first time dad.

Seriously because I am at the age whereby all my friends are either parents or have plans to be parent. For me, I think about if I ever became a mother, what values will I teach my children

To be honest; I have been having this argument with people about raising children. In a world like today, is there seriously a wholesome place where kids just focus on just being kids? Or by the time they are born, are they already thrown into this vicious societal cycle where merits are placed on how well they do in school, how good they are at sports, if they will marry well, or if they will be a successful investment banker with a lucrative career at Goldman? Does it sound cliche if I say, if I ever became a mum. I just my kids to enjoy whatever stage of life they are at, think independently and not worried about being part of the system.

If only there is some kind of scanning system in place to check if people are suitable candidates to be parents, I am sure this will eliminate half the fucked ups in the world. The world would definitely be prettier and there would be more Sumatran tigers left in the wild. That would be really nice.

A few days ago, it was Easter and I don't know why but during every single public holiday, Discovery Bay ( where I live) is just infested with uncivilised people. I thought it's pretty well known in HK that DB stands for Dogs and Babies. I was queuing up to draw out some cash and this mother was pointing at Sophie and telling her son, " Be careful of the big dog, if you are naughty, the dog will bite you"

A sudden flash of anger and insanity ( Yes, I have a fucking crazy gene embedded in my system) came over me and I said to her, " Stupid woman, it is parents like you who fucked children up". I do feel a bit bad for saying it in front of her kid but look at my Sophie. She is so docile and tell me, does she look like a killer dog to you? I don't think so.. It's a real fucked up world.

Nobody can say I am not...

2009-04-02T21:43:00.004+08:00

This is the current window display at Joyce. I love it so much because it sort of encapsulates my goal for this year. At the start of 2009, I want to do everything and I want to pack as much as possible in a day's time. Four months down the road, I am wondering if I had taken too big of a bite in terms of keeping myself busy. I was thinking a few nights ago on the way back to Discovery Bay - have I committed myself too much over the next few months?

Here are the list of things I have to do from now till June

1.) DragonBoating - Last Sunday after practice, my back was as sore as fuck. I have been rowing for five weeks on my right side and for the first time I rowed on the left side. Whilst I was at it, it wasn't too bad but that night but it totally killed me on Monday morning. Rudi had said to me, I don't think team sports is your thing because you don't like to do things in groups. I am discovering a side of myself that I haven't seen before. In a way he is right. In a way, I want to give it a go. I puked last week on the boat and seriously I felt bad for days because I felt that I let my team mates down. Team sports is a very unfamiliar concept to me because it's 18 people working towards a goal and plus what they always say - a chain is only as strong as the weakest link and sometimes I do feel like the weakest link - my stride isn't the longest, my speed isn't the fastest and I am fucking incoherent at times but I want to try as hard as I can. I really hope that on race day - this 28th of May. I can look back with on this and say, it's all worth it. Pray!!!

2.) Furniture hunting -one month into the renovation. I really really love buying furniture. I finally feel like a fucking adult to be not buying crap from Ikea. I am investing in actual quality furniture that I hope to someday pass to my children as heirlooms. Haha! Right now with bad times, it's really a buyers' market and I am tough negotiator. I got this freaking awesome lights at 60%. I love it but again time consuming.

3.) Moving back in. After the hassle of shoving everything in the boxes, it's time to unpack them again - Timeline - Mid May. Moving is back breaking and slimming! For those who want to shed off some extra pounds, I won't mind a volunteer or two. I will give you a complimentary stretch session after the big move :)

4.) Beijing - I need to go to Beijing for work. I love Beijing so I am definitely looking forward to it. Can't wait to catch up with my friends there as well. And I so want to visit the Forbidden City again because the last time I went last year, a lot of areas were still being restored.

5.) I have been taking medication to treat hyperthyrodism for about two years now, I don't like to talk about it because I don't like to be treated differently. A few months ago, my doctor said the medication hasn't been working very well on me and my condition is a bit too evasive for regular treatment. I have to remove 80% of my thyroid glands. Fuck, fuck, fuck... I am absolutely paranoid about cutting, slicing, blood inducing procedures but what to, you just have to deal with it. Timeline - early June.

On the flipside - after my surgery, I have to take about 3 weeks to a month off depending on my recovery speed. I can really do up the house.

Say What.

2009-04-01T16:20:00.004+08:00

I walked past G2000 yesterday and their campaign slogan cracked me up. It says, G2000 for those who work. My question is how about those who don't work? Can they not wear G2000? This is one good example of fucked up marketing.

Number 1 - okie great I still have a job so I am considered their target market but I won't buy G2000 stuff because they make me look like an insurance agent and their material is just shit. Unemployment rate in HK is inching up to 6% maybe it's time to think about another line of clothes - G2000 for those who don't work and want to look like they don't work? Maybe that's better marketing.

Good people of G2000 you need to fire your marketing team and when you do, you tell them G2000, it's only for those who work.

Conversations with my mother

2009-03-24T20:15:00.004+08:00

In my line of work, more often than not, I am required to talk to people I don't know.And I am pretty good at it because I bullshit loads. I am a serious A Grade Bullshitter. I called my mum yesterday because, I was feeling kind of guilty as I have not spoken to her in a month.

The conversation lasted 1 min 37 seconds. Have you ever wondered why it's so difficult to talk to people who mean the most to you? I asked her, " Is everything okie?" three fucking times and after the second time, I felt like a broken record. After the conversation, I was feeling absolutely gutted because a realisation tanked on me. My mum is 59 years old this year and I just realised that I was hardly around during the most of my adult life.

I have to try harder to incorporate her in my life but I don't know where to start. The thing is, I know she loves me loads and I have acknowledged that she might not have the best ways of doing so. In a way, I am sick of complaining and since I have an action plan for most things, I am more than ready to adopt a new method of communication.

Instead of leaving it to her to tell me things. I am going to start by telling her things about myself. I am going to tell her stories about the people in my life, the situations I encounter, shit that bother me. I am not going to edit anything and I will leave it to her to judge whether she could digest some things that are not easy for parents to know about their childhood. I don't know sometimes I feel that I need to shelter my inner feelings from my mother because I don't want her to worry about me. I don't know but something tells me my mother is stronger than I give her credit for. Well, we have to start from somewhere don't we. I hate having to think; what if she dies, I do not want to wait till it is too late to regret.

For starters, I am going to chat with her once a week and if things ever get too difficult, I'd pass the phone to Rudi.

Reasons to be happy..

2009-03-23T17:44:00.004+08:00

Lately, I have been feeling down. I can't seem to find the root-cause to my numerous dissatisfactions so I am going to change the way I feel by changing the way I think. I want to constantly remind myself that, I have things to be grateful for and it starts with

1.) Rudi. It's true we can't choose our family; the ones that related to us by blood but finding our other halves give us the chance to start a family with the people we actually like. I am not going to start with the in-laws.

2.) The relationships I have with my brothers. When I was younger, I used to fight loads with my brothers especially William. We even fist fight until he started towering over me at 5'11. Now if I fist fight with him, I am gravely inviting death. We chat so much on MSN these days and it gives me a wonderful insight to how he really is and we even share things about the family, like secrets that only family members should know. That really keeps my sanity intact because trust me, we have a lot of family politics. Looking back at our childhood, I am really glad that all of us turned out ok. We do have a fair amount of fuck-ups in the family. Kinda nice knowing we didn't contribute to that statistic.

3.) My health - I am so happy to say that physical challenges no longer scare me. Less than 2 years ago, I was in a state whereby I was really embarrassed because even if I walk up a short flight of stairs, I'd go huffing and puffing. But now, I can run an hour without stopping for a brisk walk. It feels nice to be comfortable in my own skin.

4.) I have a job. Where I was in Mongkok the other day, I was walking along Nathan Road and I saw at least four people picking leftovers from thrash cans. Growing older might make me feel less sensitive towards a lot of things but one thing I still hate seeing are homeless people. I thought of the time when I was three, I went to the temple with my Popo and I saw a beggar and I asked Popo to lend me a dollar so that I can give it to him. That part of me never changed. It is just really sad to see that as this recession prolongs, many people especially those who do manual labor are going to find themselves more susceptible to losing their livelihood. Working is not just about the money, working is dignity and dignity is the fundamental human right.

5.) I have great friends. I can't think of a reason of living better than sharing it with the people who love me unconditionally. Can you imagine, you love your family because you have no choice but to. But when it comes to your friends. It takes a lot to love someone who is entirely unrelated to you.

6.) My self-awareness. The nicest complement anyone has ever given me was that," I am blessed. I asked him why and he said, You are blessed because not only you are intelligent but you have a high degree of self awareness. Thank you Taffy. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.

7.) Sophie. I know it's a dog but she is family. It's nice to have someone/ something you love so much because we all question what we live for on some days.

8.) I have nothing else to prove. When I was younger, I felt a pressing need to prove something. I need to prove to the world my abilities, demonstrate my strengths and a lot of it were just ego talk. Right now, I am just living at my own pace and I stopped caring about how many people I am pleasing.

9.) In the last 30 years, I have never known hunger, I have never known desperation and destitution, I have never been harmed; physically or emotionally. I have never been robbed, the innocence of childhood, never been deprived from privileges and never been abused nor used. If those are not good reasons to be happy - I would be one fucking ungrateful bitch.

Don't you start with me

2009-03-16T12:42:00.004+08:00

You know what I can't stand, people who complain about stuff and never seemed to do anything about it. Shit like, I am so fat, I only eat so little but I am still fat. When you tell them to exercise, they make a face and tell you, exercising is so san foo ( so difficult) I cannot work out this calculation, everything comes with a price right? You abuse and use your body the wrong way, it is definitely going to show.

Recently, I sent an e-mail to this friend of mine who is still living in Malaysia. I told him very politely to please stop sending me forwards about political injustices that are happening in Malaysia because you know what, I don't give a flying fuck about who is shitting who. To be very honest, other than the fact that I was born in Malaysia, I speak like one and it is where all my family and oldest friends are, there is nothing quite Malaysian about me. And guess what, today when I opened my mail box, again there were three e-mails about Anwar Ibrahim, Najib bombing his mistress. I am exasperated. I guess this leaves me with no choice but to block all of his e-mails.

Malaysians especially the minorities like the Chinese and the Indians are the biggest whiners I know. Seriously guys, if you can't live with the system, make your peace and get on with it. There are places in the world you can go to; where the color of your skin will not matter and you are judged solely on your merits.

Happy Birthday Ruby

2009-03-10T17:26:00.003+08:00

Dear Ruby,

Happy Birthday! I hope that on the day of your birthday, you will know how special you are to me. You know Nat is more like a guy than a girl and I normally scold people instead of praising them but on your birthday, I want to give you the best present-which my friendship. One of the best things about doing the dragonboat with you is really to be able to work in the same team as you and to be able to spend time with you.After coming to HK, I question if I will be able to find friends I am used to having back home and HK is such a crazy city without friends.

I just want you to know that I appreciate our friendship and I know that you will always be one of these people who will be my friend till my boobs sag and my ass droop. So here's to many great years of friendship.

Happy Birthday darling!!!

Things I used to do as a child

2009-03-10T13:26:00.007+08:00

I have perpetuated with theme of childhood recently. Been reading the book The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson and last Saturday Rudi and I went to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

At the start of The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, Bryson said " Growing up was easy. It required no thought or effort on my part. It was going to happen anyway". I had the best childhood. I think I grew up at the time when kids were still wholesome and we played a whole lot without thinking much ambitions or succeeding. Whilst we were packing up to leave our apartment, we found Michael Jackson's History in our stack of dust filled CDs.

I love Michael. He made me fall in love with music and he made me experimented with dangerous dance moves - such as moonwalking on slippery floors, crotch grabbing actions that made my parents sick with worry. It's a fact that Thriller was and is the best selling album of all time. Why is that? I think between Rudi and I - we owned at least 6 copies between ourselves. We listened to Beat It, Billie Jean endlessly; again and again till the tape broke.

Last week, Michael made an announcement that he will be staging his last concert tour - The Final Curtain. It is hard to believe that my childhood idol is now 50 years old. I really hope that he will come to HK. I'd pay any amount of money just to be able to watch him again. No matter how ridiculous!

I know that Michael is probably most famous for songs like Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal but personally for myself, my all time favorite song from Michael is Man in the Mirror taken from the album Bad. The album came out in 1987 and it was a year after my parents separated. Looking back it was probably one of the saddest times of my life and the lyrics had such profound meaning to me...

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could HaveBeen Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make
The WorldA Better Place
(If You Wanna Make TheWorld A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change
I've Been A Victim Of A SelfishKind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With NoHome,
Not A Nickel To LoanCould It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not Alone?

Man in the mirror is simply timeless and if only we have more classic songs like these. Michael you may have fucked up to a certain extend but thanks for being there for me. I love you.

Anyways people if you want to take a trip down memory lane and laugh about some serious shit you used to do while you were a kid, I'd recommend you to read The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid.

And the story goes on..

2009-03-05T13:13:00.003+08:00

Last night at bedtime, Rudi read me an article from Next Magazine about the follow - up story on Edison Chen and all his fuck buddies and it was a few nights ago that I was watching this movie with Nicholas Tse, Edison Chen and Gillian Cheung - It's so ironic, it's funny.

I am glad I am no longer in events management business anymore because there is so much discomfort knowing about the relationships of all of these celebrities. I'd hate to think, hmmmm at an award show, who sits with who.

Surely Nicholas Tse can't sit next to Edison Chen and Edison Chen can't be sitting next to Albert Yeung because Edison has single handed destroyed Gillian's career - one of his most well paid artistes although technically Edison is still dating his niece.

The perfect picture in my head would probably look like this - we need to build a special bullet proof cage for Edison Chen. We'd ideally like to put Edison behind bars for various reasons such as stopping Cecilia's triad family from launching an attack on him and to restraint him from getting lucky with other female celebrities. But in a way, after all that has happened, I doubt anyone famous would want to do him. Ya' know what I mean right?

When those pictures exploded on the internet there were two things that came to my mind - Edison's sexual habits are good enough to shame any testerone charged gay man. In the gay scene, people that hang out in cliques has probably at one point or another slept with one another, so has Edison..And secondly, the hair. I always thought that Chinese women are well manicured from top to bottom. No other group of people I know care so much about eye lash perming other than HK women, if they can perm their eye lashes, why not a little trimming and taming the forest? You know, the possibility of a comeback for all of these people may be slimmer than slim but I reckon Cecilia Cheung could take on a spokesperson role for better pubic hair management.

How funny is that?

Values and stuff

2009-02-20T13:20:00.007+08:00

I have been thinking a lot of about people and the values that we were taught as children. Isn't it funny that people nowadays have so much yet are so empty inside? Well I think I have told you all repeatedly that we are now renovating our flat and we are getting rid of all the old stuff. Last weekend, Rudi told me he was giving away his old sound system to his colleague who has recently moved and doesn't have a system at his new place.

He came to pick it up and after that we went for coffee. When we sat down I was a bit surprised, Rudi had to ask me what I wanted to drink. The thing is we just gave this little fucker a sound system, don't you think that taking into consideration the basic laws of being a human ( or perhaps a socially functional being) he would at least have the courtesy to ask a lady what she wanted to drink? The deal is not the coffee, a 30 dollar coffee will not make me richer or poorer, I care about the display of gratitude. I care about appreciation.

I wonder why these people exist, you know what I mean. Did their parents teach them to take take take and not give? My grandfather always tell me, you can be stingy to yourself but you should never stinged on people around you. My grandfather has long expired but I bring his values to the way I choose to live my life now. And I am thankful for his wise words because I can never to bring myself to live myself under such state of oblivion. I wonder what kind of friends these people make and can anyone be friends with people like that? Sick...

And you know what.. Rudi just told me that he is coming back again this week for our keyboard. Baby, no! I am NOT giving it to him. I'd rather donate it to a beggar at least, I'd get a thank you..

How very weird

2009-02-18T12:28:00.003+08:00

Life has many sheer ironic moments. I have been seeing people with fat, jiggly asses in Juicy's Couture's sweatpants with a label across their ass that says Juicy. How weird is that? There is absolutely nothing Juicy about their asses. Maybe it should say Fat Ass, that way, at least it's funny but true..

Happy Valentine's Day.

2009-02-14T15:43:00.005+08:00

Consider this a belated Valentine's Day tribute. I have been shit busy with the renovation and I recently took Kath's great advice to sell my used furniture through a local community forum. I can't believe it, people actually buy second hand furniture. I get a bit eeekked with used things because I always think about where they have been. Thanks to my overly vivid imagination la.

We didn't do much on Valentine's Day, we just had dinner at home and a bottle of wine. Everywhere we looked that day we saw couples holding big bouquet of roses and gifts and eating dessert together. How lovey dovey. I talk to Ruby loads about life's general topics and just before V-day, we had this conversation about the type of relationships we have. Yes, it's old, yes there is no more adrenaline and that anticipation of a first date has long eluded me. Do I miss it? Sometimes but seriously I have so much to be grateful for.

I am an old soul. When I was 18, when I finally thought I could conduct an adult conversation with my dad, I had asked him, why didn't it worked out between mum and him. His answer was just, never marry someone you can't talk to. It's so damn true. As much I might have fucking hated him during my angry, Nirvana head banging days, I cannot deny that my parents were absolutely miserable for one another. On their own, they are inherently good people with good hearts but they brought out the worst in one another. I wondered for a long time, how it all started? Was the lust that irressistable? I have to admit my mother had the best fuck-me-legs and luscious jet black hair but still..........

People like Christina, Ruby, Joyce, I really consider them my best friends. They make me feel as though I can be whoever and whatever and I don't care.. It's like this with Rudi too. We poke fun of each other, we tell each other off all the time and we are just friends talking about everything. The older I am, I have come to accept that, at the end of the day; you just need that fun factor that help gets you through the day.

Again in all honesty, I really do believe that he loves me loads. Looking back at my old pictures during my fat days, even I find it so hard to love myself la. Hahaha!!!

So here' s to my best friend and I do not need February the fucking fourteen for me to tell you how much I love you. I feel that god made you just for me and besides my dad did say, when you take daughter, there is absolutely no refund!

I say it best when I say nothing at all

2009-02-13T18:10:00.005+08:00

I am so fucking glad when we decided to renovate our house, I did not go to my friends for help because fucking them verbally would be the hardest thing to do and I am sure as hell that after they are done renovating my house, so would our friendship. After months and months of working on the house, I am so glad to say that the light at the end of the tunnel is nearing. We are two weeks from moving out to our temporary house and I can't tell you how much I look forward to telling my interior designer - expect no referral business from me.

I do not know what is wrong with people nowadays. They talk more than they listen. Let me tell you the things she tells me. "I have a feeling you would like this because my experience of working with you, tells me you're this type of person". I know myself for thirty years, I don't even really know myself, what gives her the right to say that. Another example of what she says to me, " This would look really good because most HK people do this" - Guess what, do I look and shit HK to you? Me - Malaysian, Me no care what HK people like and me like No bullshit!!!!!!!! ME NO LIKE YOU!!!!

I told her, I want a full length mirror for yoga and pilates. The next thing I know, I see a cabinet in front of my mirror. WTF is that and it seems to me her brains are just hardwired to neurotransmitters in her ass. And best of all in the sketches, my fitball is there. I think maybe she thinks I am so short, I do not need room to do my downward dog poses..

Today, Ms. Shit has just done it again. She called Rudi and told him that she would like to use this type of material for our wardrobe. I swear to god, my face fell when she sent me a reference picture.

Exhibit A : Reference picture from Designer

Exhibit B: Straight out of an IKEA catalogue

Need I say more? Because of confidentiality reasons, if you want to know the identity of this designer, please call me. I'd be delighted to share with you my trunk full of wonderful experiences working her.

I heart Iron & Wine

2009-02-11T14:05:00.005+08:00

I am so in love. It's been so long since I feel this way. The last time I felt this way about a certain band or music must have been when Clazziquai broke into the scene with that song Romeo & Juliet and The Last Tango.

I walked deliberately to HMV today during lunch time and emptied the space containing all of their CDs. My Ipod has been since this morning been playing and replaying to the song Fightless Bird American Mouth.. I love it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What a fucking amazing song. It was on the soundtrack of Twilight and that was how I found it. Oh right over the past one month, I have read and obssessed over the Twilight Series like a born again Christian.

Okie now back to the reason for my obssession. People please please check out Iron & Wine. It is so good. It's easy to listen, mellow, has really good rhythm and I am so taken with that certain dreamy quality to it...

Standard Chartered Race 2009

2009-02-09T16:42:00.009+08:00

More than 51, 000 people took part in the Standard Chartered Race yesterday and I was one of them.

My love for running is pure, unadultered and simple. It is such an intimate love affair that I can now no longer imagine a life without it. Running and doing sports are very sacred institutions for me. I believe that with sports, when you put your heart and soul to it, you can only do better..not worse.

I ran with my colleagues yesterday after training most of them for since end of last year with my bare knuckles.. Maybe it's me but I always feel that there are rooms for improvement. I am a little unhappy with the lack of commitment showed by some of them although I must say most of them try really hard. All my life, I try my best to separate the black from the white and that is why when I commit to something, I give it my best shot. I hate people who don't try, never trying to break a sweat whilst doing something. I never want to look back in any particular time of my life and think, I could have done better or try harder.

After two years of running in the Standard Chartered race I have made the decision to never run in this particular competition anymore. There are way too many people in the race and every year, the organisers try and inflate the numbers by 10%. There is no emphasis on trying to make the routes more condusive to running and the quality of air of having to run in the city is a sheer catalyst for asthma. I don't mind the training but I tend to put way too much pressure on myself whenever I run in a competition. I don't sleep the night before because I worry about not being able to wake up the next day... I am one fucked up chick.

MacLehose Hiking Trail - Sai Kung

2009-01-14T17:21:00.008+08:00

Another hardcore hiking trip on a cold cold day in HK - cold but beautiful. This time we conquered the MacLehose trail in Sai Kung Country Park. I am thinking if I am overpushing myself because I trained for the marathon in the morning and by afternoon I was doing a long-ass hike. Needless to say, my gluteaus maximus aka butt was extremely sore by the end of the day.

I am 30..

2009-01-09T17:06:00.003+08:00

Should I changed my blog to turned 30 instead of turning 30. Obviously I wasn't thinking when I came up with this blog title.

30 I reckon is a good age. It's the age whereby you are still ( relatively young), have a tad bit of money after years of working your butt off and hopefully by now, you know who you are..

My friend Julian asked what do I want to do this year because by now being a mother is still the last thing in my head. I am never one of these people who think, in 5 years time, I am going to rule the world. My goals are relatively short term and in a sense maybe I am a bit myopic. For now, I just want to enjoy living, I just want to soak in the moment......

One of the saddest thing about growing older, is not growing older is the suffering the guilt of an adult child. When you are away from your family, you don't see them for a period of time and when you do, they are now a little older than when you last saw them.. But then again, life is never really about the destination because we know that eventually the final destination is death. It's fleeting continuation of life's little adventures and lessons.

Today, I resolute to try and learn something new everyday. I do not want to be that chick that says no it's not for me because we don't know until we try...

There is something that saddens me a lot, in the past few years especially after coming to HK, I became very preoccupied in myself, my career and my hobbies. I stopped bothering about people that potentially I'd liked to be friends with. I was pretty shocked today to receive SMSes from people I know because to be honest, I have no idea when their birthdays are.

So from now on, I want to start from stratch, I want to listen more than I talk ( and fucking hell, I talk a lot okie)

I want to thank everyone for their birthday wishes...

I want to thank my colleagues for realising my birthday wish ( which was to donate to SPCA)

And finally at 30, I still do not have everything but I think I have enough which is cool by me.

Retrospects.

2009-01-08T17:47:00.005+08:00

When I was young, my mother told me never to judge a book by its cover. All I can say is mum you're wrong. Whether we like it or not, we are fucking shallow freaks and I for one, have the guts to admit that, when I was in Primary One. I deliberately sat next to the cutest girl in my class because she had rosy cheeks, long straight jet- black hair and just to top another level of cuteness, she had a Hello Kitty Bag.

Today, one day prior to turning 3o, I can tell you people treat good looking people better all the time.. When I saw this picture of Obama, all I can say is, never once had a politician turned me on but Barack, wow.. I don't mind smearing sunblock on your abs.

In retrospects, this is atypical look Malaysian politicians sport

As no one could deny how corrupted they are, you know what's worse.. they look corrupted. No man has that type of girth, unless they are lazy and greedy. If I ever go back home to Malaysia ( highly unlikely) I'd be your personal trainer Najib. You will be a brand new man but.. you will still be corrupted.

Aiyo, I also got no eye see la...

Happy Birthday to Me.....

2009-01-08T11:36:00.005+08:00

I turn 30 tomorrow. As much as I have been saying that I have been looking forward to this milestone. I realised that turning 30 has its little limitations....

1.) I have officially been disqualified for speed speeding - I just realised how unfair speed dating is towards women. Whilst the age of eligibility starts at 28 for men for women it's 20. What does this all mean? Men are brainless baboons till the age of 28? http://www.hkspeeddate.com/

2.) I am too old to be Ms. Hong Kong. Well, didn't really feel the pinch here because my height has automatically disqualified me from day one.

3.) I am too old to dress like a slut. There is no crime as bad as an older woman trying to look like a 14 year old virgin.. I know of some and I tell you it's darn bloody pathetic..

4.) After a few years with increasing fine lines, I would not rule the possibilities of considering collagen injections, botox or any form of plastic surgeries. I'd like a nicer nose. Something sharper, more delicate like Maggie Cheung's nose - and hers is fake as well... More prominent jaw line is worth considering as well... what to do, growing old is a fucking bitch. Well, at least I hope by this 30 something decade, I'd pool together enough money to fix them. Don't give me crap like god gives you what you need. Why do you think god created plastic surgeons then?

Whether I am 30 or 40 or 50. I'd still want to be a fiesty little devil with a young soul. I'd be supergran someday...Anyone remembers supergran?

Happy New Year.

2009-01-06T10:12:00.005+08:00

I have been hiking loads. It's really the best time of the year to hike because the weather is so cool and snakes are hopefully by now hibernating ( due to Global Warming, maybe they are not) I recently had an adventure which I thought was pretty fun and it's little adventures like these that remind me that I am truly relishing and maximizing every moment I have. On a 6 hour hike from Shek Pik Reservoir to Tai O, we got lost and by the time we realised how lost we were, it was completely dark. It was a good thing, we had a torchlight with us that we managed to clumsily stumbled to a safe spot.

We tried to call 999 but we unfortunately had a foreign phone reception. We called 112 -- the China emergency number and they told us they couldn't help us. Finally, we SMSed some friends and asked them to help us call the cops. We didn't know how far we were from Tai O but we knew exactly where we were because of specific landmarks - we were near a temple and we were by the beach.

It was a cold night and trust me when you're outdoors, it's even colder. Was I scared? Not really, I was prepared to spend the night there. It's been years since I last camping, I wished that I was a tad bit better equipped. Before there was TV and Nintendo consoles, I wondered if people then looked up to the sky more often than we did. I haven't for a long while and when I looked up that night, the sky was just dotted with stars. I had no ideas, they are so close to one another. Or maybe I just forgot they are.. I went back to the basics that night.

Not long after, 10 firefighters came and we were escorted back to Tai O town.. We had a complete entourage of firefighters, police and paramedics waiting for us. I suppose in a town as small as Tai O they were excited to have any forms of emergencies, as small as it might be. They did looked a bit dissapointed when they found out none of us were injured.

Sophie and Me

2008-12-30T12:27:00.010+08:00

I am tempted to watch Marley & Me. I read the book awhile ago and loved every single page of it. It was the first book I ever read whereby I was afraid of reading too fast and every single page that I flip, I dread finishing it.. The ending, oh my god, it made me bawled for hours. Long after putting down the book, I was still crying like a mad woman.

I love Labradors. All my life, I have had Labradors. They are such sweet natured, dopey dogs who will do anything including risking their lives for food. After years of living with humans - they have embraced a unique talent of looking cute and silly just to gain some affection.

I have been bugging Rudi to let Sophie audition for ads or movies because I definitely see movie star quality in her. She is good with people and intelligent. You judge for yourself. Do you see star quality in her? or am I just biased?

Clairol Herbal Shampoo for Dogs..............

Attention...Sit straight it makes you look taller..

Aww.... isn't she beautiful

This is so Lassie, the long way home.

Girl and girl's best friend
How's this for a movie poster?

Happy Birthday Grandma

2008-12-29T13:47:00.006+08:00

Two days ago on the 27th of December, it was my grandma's birthday. If she had still been alive today, she would have been 79. I really had missed her so and although it's been one and a half years since she passed away ; thinking about her still makes me blink a tear or two.

Lately I have been thinking about people that die and how we never actually really die. Well the physical body dies but a part of them continues to live on in us- their children and their children's children. Whenever I look at my family members, I see in them bits and pieces of grandma or rather things that remind me of her.

Well I unfortunately didn't have the slightest share of some of granny's miracle skinny genes and but as I grow older my hope is be as kind as her - nearly la. I am no angel okie. My grandma was the kindest person ever. She was such a gentle soul and she was always so satisfied with everthing. It doesn't matter to her whether you gave her more or less, she was always happy with what she has got.

The thought of grandma still living in us comforts me a little. I know that in the past the concept of self, the concept of fulfillment, of reaching out for a dream are unheard of. My grandma didn't have a chance to study much because the war broke out, she had her first kid when she was 20. She became a grandma at 50.

Given a chance, I wondered what Grandma wanted to be. I hate thinking about opportunities life denied her from because I'm sure that if grandma had that opportunity to be whoever she wanted to, she would have done pretty well.

Grandma loved asking young people like me questions about the world, about who our favorite pop idols were and for some strange reason my mind kept going back to the time, when I watched Madonna's Like a Virgin with her. She was a trendy granny.

I thought about granny again on my way to work. If there was a part of grandma that continued living in me, I hope she is able to see that I am fortunate enough to be the person I want to be, to live the type of lifestyle I choose for myself and that I am strong independent woman. I know that women of her generation and so on and so forth had to endure terrible things but I want the world to know that was the sacrifices from her and her forefathers that contribute to how I live my life today and that is something I am so thankful of..

I miss you so much Po.. Happy Birthday.

My grandma with my great grandma

My grandparents - when they were still dating. Actually grandpa was pretty hot

My grandparents' wedding picture. See what I mean, I can never be as skinny as grandma. Not fair la. I have to sweat it out.

How come my grandma had such nice features whereas mine kinda look as though it's pasted on my face like Mr. Potatohead

My grandparents just before my grandpa passed away. Grandma - signature look. Very trendy for a grannie. My grand dad didn't age too well hor..

Picture of yours truly. See la, I was such a tomboy. I played with boys and I curse like one. Look at all the scars on my legs.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T09:15:00.003+08:00

(Saw this on a message board and I thought this was pretty funny)

Merry Christmas Everyone

Chicks that annoy me..

2008-12-23T12:33:00.005+08:00

There is one type of people that I absolute have no respect for - Asian chicks that think that once they get a white guy as husband or boyfriend, their status automatically changes from normal to high class.

After 50 years of decolonization, the sun I am sorry to say has set on the British empire and until today there are still low lifes that think that " Oh you're white and I have to kiss your ass". No wonder gwai lohs love living here.

There is fugly looking woman that lives in the same apartment building as me which I cannot stand. She is filipino ( no offense to filipinos in general, I am cool with the street dancing and sitting down in front of HSBC building on Sundays) Everytime you see her you can almost feel that she oozes this, oh, I am so highly and mighty type of attitude towards the other maids. It never fails to amaze me that just because of her marital ties with her cholesterol laden husband, she miraculously developed this posh British accent... Wahhhhh

On the way out to the lift yesterday, one of my clients said to me. You have been in HK for so long but you don't look like a Hong Konger. I was so agitated I'd almost wanted to bite her head off. Instead I didn't my anger got the better of me and said, well one could throw a brick and it will probably hit 10 HK girls, why should I be one? Cut the long story short, I am a fucking proud Malaysian. I might not be proud of the stories of political sodomizing and dumb things that ministers say or even the fact that my beloved home country has banned Yoga but trust me I am proud to be Malaysian.

That's why when people ask me, Are you Singaporean? I said, do you what is the punishment for calling a Malaysian a Singaporean? You can executed for that..

I need a man.

2008-12-19T09:13:00.002+08:00

I was once the undisputed reigning queen of fag hags back home in Malaysia. There was a point in my life that I was only hanging out with gay men and I savored every minute of sweet bitchiness.

I have been living in HK for four years and recently I have been feeling as though there is a part of my life that I sorely missed - hanging out with that one special gay man in my life. Of course I have met gay people since living here but I haven't found one that is bitchy, witty and speaks good English because Cantonese humour most often than not gets lost on me.

I have been hunting incessantly for that one special gay pal to the point I am getting a little desperate and edgy. I just someone to go shopping with, tell me I look fat in baby doll dresses. I want to go to gay bars and dance on the podium and act all slutty with. I want to listen to gay men bitch because they are so animating and vivid.

Where should you think I find him? I know that there is this gay website -www. fridae.com, do you think I start a thread that says Fag Hag looking for her bitch?

I am just rattling on.............

2008-12-17T14:35:00.011+08:00

I have been having trouble waking up in the mornings. I always do in winter. I think I must have been a bear in my last life because I have this tendency of hibernating when the weather is cold..

As 2008 draws to a close, it hasn't been that bad of a year for myself because it has been a year whereby I truly opened myself up to certain people making new and wonderfu friends,trying times at work and attempting to do something I considered then as chasing a pipe dream... I mean who would have thought that I am now a fitness trainer? Like what the heck just happened.

Seriously corporate people are very boring and I am just never going be content being just a corporate chick. Maintaining two lives is very very complex, time and energy consuming.. Oh did I tell you, I am now going to coach a running team.. I am so looking forward to that. The thing is I have surprised myself by accepting that sometimes to be happy, it doesn't take much fuss. I'd be happy doing something/anything that breaks the mode of an ordinary day and I am happy now.

The day before yesterday, I was asked to write ad online dating ad for my friend J.. Here is what I came up with for her: -

"If life is like a box of chocolates, you need someone to savor the many different flavors of life with. I am a true believer that to love me is to know me because I am so much more that meets the eyes

If a man is 40 and successful, his list of accomplishments and the amount of his monthly salary are usually his best form of advertisement. Not so the case with successful women, I mean can you think of a female version of George Clooney? Not really.

The thing is.. for women to be relatively successful, you have to spend a lot of time developing your career and really it just takes so much harder for women to climb up corporate ladders. By the time they enjoy a sizeable amount of success, their male counterparts opt to go for much younger women. So where does this leave single successful women? Pathetic social rejects..

It sickens me whenever I am with her and when people ask her so J how many kids do you have? And when she says she is single, they look at her with sympathetic primate looking eyes... awww, you will soon..

This is fucking bullshit. I hate to think that my life is only complete if I have the one. Sure it's easy for me to say this because I happen to have a wonderful man. But even if I don't, I want to discover the meaning of my entire existence through my own accord.

It's now less than a month before I turn 30. I resolve to -

1.) Not be friends or entertain with people I do not like or have no interest to entertain

2.) Work diplomatically with the people I don't like or hate but yet think of the ultimate goal

3.) Giving back to society. I don't like hanging out with old people because they have a funny smell and the only thing that really tug at my heartstrings - are animals so I want to help animals

4.) Bite my tongue and before I lash out in anger, think about the words that I may say to hurt another person.

5.) Be a good boss/coach and develop the talents of those under my supervision

6.) Since, I am now most comfortable in my skin, I have made the decision to take stylish nude pictures of myself.

In the past couple of weeks, I have been busy going for parties. Please see my transformation from broadway New York, New York to high brow Mandarina bitch in my Qi Pao to Cowgirl. I think I look good in Qi Paos, I am thinking of making a few more...What do you think??

What a week...

2008-12-05T12:18:00.004+08:00

I did two races in a month. One after another, two weeks running consecutively. I didn't think I had the vitality to take it but this is what I love most about sports, if you keep on working on, you will only get better not worse.

The Unicef Race was quite tough on my end as I came down with a horrible flu on Friday. I actually ran with a pack of tissue and by the end of the race, my nose felt as though it was ready to fall off... but all said and done, the Sunny Bay route was breathtakingly beautiful. I don't have any pictures to show you unfortunately. It would be awfully inconvenient to run with camera.

Have a good weekend.

Thank you Secret Santa

2008-11-30T20:29:00.008+08:00

I love animals, more so than most humans. When I think about the problems about the world today; it is a 100% afflicted by people and greed. When I was young I became very convinced that I had a special affinity with animals. I understood them fairly well, I'd always knew which animals I could touch and those that are about bite. Movies that made me wept and bawled like a crazy woman involved animals and that is why I don't like watching movies about animals in pain.

In conjunction with Christmas, we have been having the Secret Santa game all month long at work. Throughout this month, you have to pay special attention to the person whom you are Secret Santa to. I sent an e-mail to my Secret Santa asking he/ she to sponsor Ah Dee, a three-legged dog living at the Society of Abandoned Animal....

Ah Dee.. three leg but plenty of attitude.....

On Friday morning, sitting pretty on my desk at work was a card from my Secret Santa telling me that my wish has been fulfilled. That must have been one of my happiest days at work. Thank you Secret Santa.

Early this year when Joanne wanted to have dogs, my suggestion was to go to the HK Dog Rescue where she and Rupert got two initially maniacal dogs, Ketchup and Pabu. When we bumped into them today, I am so happy so say that they both have mellowed and are now normal functioning dogs. Dogs, like every living flourish when they are loved.

Pabu and Ketchup chilling after a long walk

Sophie arrived home on Good Friday of 2006, we had seen ad at the local supermarket about a labrador for adoption.. I jumped and took home the ad because I was afraid someone might get her before me. Whilst we were walking home, I felt like a child carrying a box of chocolates, I told Rudi, I want to name her Sophie because I had just read Sophie's World. The next morning, I called and Chris picked up. I asked him questions about the dog who was then a little more than a year old. Toilet trained - excellent!!! I asked Chris, what is the dog's name and he said, Shu Qi, his wife named her after the actress. I gagged but was excited that I could phenotically tweak it to Sophie..Like they say, the rest is history.

If you know animals as well as I do, I can tell you that each of them is different and they possess with them this special way of diffusing your negativity..... Be fair to them, don't have a dog if you can't. If you think that you'd still like to help. You can sponsor an animal through - Society of Abandoned Animals

To sponsor an animal, it's only HKD$ 99 a month -that is just like three lattes at Starbucks.

http://www.saa.org.hk/public/contents/article?ha=&wc=0&hb=&hc=&revision%5fid=10505&item%5fid=2731

Today....

2008-11-28T12:12:00.003+08:00

Today marks one month since I have stopped smoking. After 12 years of regularly buying cigarettes, exluding the 1 -2 years odd of stealing cigarettes from friends and dad, I can now say, I don't smoke anymore.

The thing about smoking is, it's more a habit than anything else. It's not like cold or a cough where you need a cure, It's a definition of a culture. I don't know why but nearly all my fondest memories of lighting up involves my best friend Christina.

Chris, I miss you so much. We'd go to the point of rescuing each other so that we could smoke. During Chinese New Year especially when we can't smoke in front of the folks, we'd call each other with one clear message " get me out of the house, I need to fucking smoke".

I am someone extremely selective with who I consider my friends. I bloody hate bimbos and himbos and I am so lucky so have Chris you as my best friend. I say it then and I say it now, If i were a man, I'd definitely marry you because you are my soul mate.

I am one truly blessed bitch.. Merry X'mas old friend. I am going to be 30 and I say it now, you are I are going to be BFFs!

Chestnuts roasting on a open fire.

2008-11-26T12:30:00.007+08:00

Ahhh Christmas, there is just a sense of nolstalgia walking around the city during Christmas time. Christmas carols - songs that I know every word by heart, lovely shiny ornaments that light up the most sombre of moods and my personal favorite - the parties. I have so many parties this year, I feel like reclaiming my old title of party chick and dumping my current title of fitness chick.

It' s been a fucking crazy two weeks, work is keeping me busy but very rewarding and my personal training course is coming to an end - boo boo! I will so miss my guru trainer Adam. I guess when they say when one door shuts another one opens. After my exam, I will be a fully qualified fitness professional. Yay Yay! In order to get some real hands on training experience, I am contemplating on teaching a free stretching class to my work mates because everybody is stressed about the economy and they do sit too long and hence fucking up their postures.

Rudi and I ran a race last week. We did pretty well and we are running in the Unicef one this week. It crossed my mind that I am pushing my self too much but on the other hand, if one doesn't constantly push the limits. How much is too much? I am definitely looking forward to the race this weekend..

There is something bugging me lately, I walk past Chater House almost everyday and I see this Armani campaign that features Takeshi Kineshiro. The thing is, I just don't fg get it, how can anyone probably a notable photographer make Takeshi look so unappealing? If you look carefully, Takeshi looked cross eyed!!#^&&% Damn Armani, you pay all that money for Takeshi to be featured wearing your clothes and he looks like that. Come on, do that man some justice. Don't know about anyone but for me, Takeshi has got to be one of the most ........................ (please fill in the blank) guys around. He looks like a vision and there is not much rumors about him getting on with different starlets. Hope he is not gay. Takeshi, call me? I think you are so hot.

When you marry weird people

2008-11-24T23:33:00.011+08:00

Whilst there are so many books and movies written and made about women trying to understand men, I don't think enough is said about men trying to understand women. I am glad I am not a man because I think that being a man is far more difficult than being a woman.

Off the top of my mind I can think of a few reasons substantiating my argument but however the main is probably awkward situations men land themselves in because they tend to think with their dicks than their heads.

I am not just saying it for the sake of saying it but look around you, the economics of the world is that the proportion of good looking women is just so much higher than good looking men. Why is there a need for a woman to look good at all times? Please do not give me BS like I like looking good for myself, a woman knows that looking good makes her a good commodity for men. And the better looking you are, the more sought after you become.

As a matter of fact, there is so much emphasis on how a woman should look, nearly all emphasis go purely to just that. And As a direct result of this, men often find themselves fatally attracted to good looking women only to find out at a later stage that everything they deemed attractive has been offset by freakish behaviors and the lack of mental stimulation.

Over my 1 hour odd lunch today, I had a man opened his heart and spilled out everything about encounters with the very wrong kinds on me. Having been married twice, he now wants to find a way out of the second one. One may ask, if you have been married once, wouldn't you have a better idea of what they want in a wife/husband? Apparently not.

I feel sorry for people like that, they seemed to have it ingrained in their heads that the idea of happily ever after usually involves someone molded to perfection along with great personality. I found the story of my friend to be somewhat an extreme source of paradoxical parody.

He warned me before he let his guard down, that I might think of him as a very mean person if he were to reveal the reason why he had divorced his first wife. She was as frugal as frugal could be. Whenever someone asked her for a piece of tissue, she would halved it and give the person half a piece of tissue. I can't believe it. I dread to think what she does to manage household toilet paper consumption ,does she restrict the length of paper she uses? I don't know. I don't blame the poor guy one bit. Imagine being married to someone who frets about menial things like that.

After lunch I did a lot of thinking about marriages and I asked men about things women do that completely makes them flip..

Women who size them up - What car do you drive? Where do you live? Most women never ask questions innocently.

Women who nag - do this and do that. My mother is prime example.

Women who expect too much - A woman takes a man into Dior, subtlety saying, oh this is pretty bag and what she really means is, buy it for me stupid!

Women who likes the attention, play games and then leave you out in the cold.

Women who say there is nothing bothering me when they are clearly unhappy about something - We like doing that a lot don't we? Haha!

How to meet men?

2008-11-20T12:04:00.005+08:00

Jobless investment bankers and hedge fund managers aren't the only thing that is flooding HK these days, single women are too. If there is a season for everything, this is my season of meeting single women and not just any women - smart, successful and very eloquent women; the type feared by a lot of men because they are just not good enough for them.

I am someone pretty opportunistic and lethally obstinate and when I see something I want, I will climb mountains just to get it. I have been brainstorming and analyzing ways to help my single girlfriends. I ask myself repeatedly- if I were single where do I find normal men who are at the same time fuckable.

Networking events - I went for this chamber event last week and for one moment I forgot I am notsingle, there were just so many yummy men. God and they come in all shapes and sizes. I would think that they are professionals because networking events aren't really attended by construction workers or delivery boys. Recommended chamber events - try the once every three months interchamber events then voila - you get a superb concoction of Europeans. I personally dig Aussie boys. They are usually laidback, have great bodies and love sports.

Get a dog- I have undoubtedly a pretty hot dog. Sophie is the social connector to all my neighbours. She has this thing, whenever we are playing ball and someone walks by- she will run to them and pass them the ball. However having said that, dogs don't descriminate and more often than not, she passes the ball to ugly/lonely freaks with bad body odour. It's a Sophie way of saying," It's okie no one loves you, I have bad breath myself, I don't mind you".

Find a sport you like and join a club - It has proven that we choose who we want as friends based on common traits. If you like running, join the running club. If you want a man with the right moves and bootylicious hip sways - join the social dance club... Shake, shake and it's shaking all the way to the bedroom.

Guyfriends - Christina's grandmother told her, it's okie if you don't like this boy, use him as a stepping stone to get to his male friends. I heard it when I was 18 and I still laugh my head off thinking about it. Yes, access his database and then organise parties for singles and if you look too suspicious, invite girls as well but make sure they are unavailable.

Hang out with ugly women and go out to paint the town red - Men love looking at women in a group and if you stand out in a group in a dark bar at Lan Kwai, your chances of getting noticed has just increased by 20 times if you are the crown jewel of the group.

Own your space and redefine personal hotness - Most people who are not that good looking owe it to their aura and personality to get laid. Be that centre of attention and own it.

A different facet of HK.

2008-11-19T10:43:00.004+08:00

Two Saturdays ago, Ruby, Keith and us - Rudi, Sophie and I went for a hike in Chi Wan San over in Kowloon.

I can say this over and over again, Hong Kong really baffles me. At the foot of the hill where we parked the car, you'd find tall intimidating housing estates and as we walked up, I felt as though I trancended into a different dimension. That hike was really an interesting one - throughout the walk, we saw people collecting mountain/spring water, a deer ( in the middle of HK, that's bloody rare), ancient grave sites and it was one of those days with rolling clouds- a day in Sound of Music where all your worries are far far away and the trees swayed rythmnically.

I have seen better days.

2008-11-18T23:33:00.005+08:00

I met a friend who works for UBS today and when he walked into the room he said, "you are probably the most un-stressed person I have met in a long long time".

I am stressed to a certain extend and I don't know anyone who is not these days with the exception of monks and social workers. On second thought,they probably are too because they have plenty of social issues to handle now.

HSBC laid off 450 people today and those who got the axe weren't allowed to pack, their stuff were to be DHL-ed to them because reporters have been waiting in the lobby to snap juicy pictures, thousands of factories have shut in China, real estate agents are in the midst of being laid off. I have never seen Hong Kong at such a vulnerable state. Lately, I find myself asking, how did we get here? This time last year,we were still partying like there was no tomorrow and girls that worked for LV couldn't care less if you bought anything because Chinese tourists will buy everything....

I refuse to be stressed over something that is so beyond me. In my fitness course, I remember studying this part that in the past 20 years although people have increased their spending power, they have also developed more problems - health and mental wise. While growing up, we have been taught values that are so wrong. Your whole being,your worth is measured by the size of your house, the car you drive, the rich people you are friends with...

We push ourselves so hard, so far over the edge. Like why? Why do we need a walk in closet with 200 pairs of shoes? How do we justify the validity of having 400 bucks Manolos? Afterall, we only have one fucking pair of feet..We have fallen so deep into this a-hole of owning things, having things - to the point we define our worth based on those things.

Again if I were to lose my job tomorrow, I won't say it's entirely a bad thing. Maybe some of us need that push to set us free. I want so much to be a full time fitness professional but the thought of starting from bottom, horrible pay really freak me out. However I do like my day job, I derive a lot of satisfaction out of it and I am good at what I do. I'd be just fortunate to be able to do both.

You can't have everything. You can only have the best of what you put your mind into.

Isn't life about that tension - it's like playing a perpetual game of tug of war between what you want and what you love and I have loads of be grateful for.

Some pretty fugly shit...

2008-11-14T12:32:00.008+08:00

No one shops these days. The economy is shit and people just rather have cold hard cash. Since I started working out like a mad woman, I spend most of my free time in the gym. However, I have been doing a bit of window shopping lately. I look around and I see a lot of ugly shit. One of the weirdest "trends" to have ever become a global phenomenon is definitely Crocs. Till today, I seriously do not understand why people pay so much money on a pair of Crocs. I look it from every single angle and I am seriously baffled - it's a full 360 degrees of serious ugliness.

Fuck ventilation, fuck good circulation, fuck odor and fuck stinky feet. If there is one thing I look at in men besides his ass are his shoes. I am sorry, I am a modern woman and I am entitled to be shallow to certain varying degrees.

Just when I thought Crocs are probably the yardstick to define ugly, I am surprised to say that they have now entered a new level of pretty fucking ugly - fugly.

Ta... DAH!!!! Crocs Bag!!!!!! **** squeal with delight ** and I hope to shoot your product development team

Crocs bag - if you are ugly but functional, that I can forgive. If you are ugly, bulky and good for nothing. I really don't know what to say.

Somethings in life are just a flash in a pan, I reckon Crocs is just one of those things pretty much like Krispy Kremes in HK. Ephemeral and when it's gone, a light goes on in your head. Oh they are gone? Thank god for that.

The economist predicts that in the future, we will go back to the basics in terms of banking services and products, let's all do that as well with fashion..

Bye Bye Tai Taidom

2008-11-14T12:25:00.002+08:00

I think I have bitten more than I can chew..

My life summarised - it's back to work. I have a full time job now; I bade Tai- Taidom a reluctant goodbye. You know some girls are not meant to be Tai Tai and I am just one of them.

My day summarised - A full time job, daily work-outs and training, studying at night and I have a 3.5 hour class every Friday. I am counting down to the day I actually get my certification in personal training.

This month as well, I have two races - one week after another.

I miss Tai Taidom actually....

You Fucked up Bad.....Jerry.

2008-11-06T22:55:00.004+08:00

Jerry, in June you sent out letters to us your fucking shareholders telling us to not sell our fucking shares and to avoid a hostile takeover from Microsoft because the "price" was an insult and that Yahoo! was definitely worth more than that.... Look at how much your stocks are worth now. If I still had that letter now, I 'd make you eat it.

After all the ding-donging and your botched attempt of joining forces with Google, you now fuck us over by saying that Microsoft's buyout offer is possibly the best offer!!!

It's all about your fucking ego isn't it you dumb nerd and guess what, you can kiss your CEO title goodbye !!!

http://www.cnbc.com/id/27564182

Silver Lining

2008-11-05T23:07:00.004+08:00

A few weeks ago, I caught up with my friend Ed. Ed is 31 and a few years back he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. When we first became friends, it was only much later that I found out. I never treated him differently because he never made it an issue. We never talked openly about it until that day when we were sitting outdoor in the sun eating my favorite cheese cake at Sift.

He said, The only good thing that came out of it was the weight I lost during the battle. I was definitely overweight before.

I said to him "What a terrible thing to say because I don't want you or anyone to be thin because of some horrible illness".

His answer was somewhat touched a bone in me," Of course no one wishes to be sick but sometimes in the bleak-est of situations, you have no choice but to try and find that silver lining".

That elusive silver lining..

In the last few days, I came across many people telling me they have now lost their jobs. I read in the news that suicide level is going up, up, up....

I read somewhere in a book ( the title escaped my mind) that before the age of commercialism or laissez faire, we were slaves and after the age of commerce, we became paid slaves. How true is that and most of the time, we don't see ourselves as one. That institution of working/ having a job is how society is defined and it has become so difficult for us to see otherwise. Like it or not, we are fucking paid slaves. We go to work at a certain time, we leave at a certain time. We are given tasks, jobscopes, K fucking PIs.

If I lost my job today, I would be distraught but I want to find that silver lining. I want to free myself from being a paid slave. I want to own my business. I want something that is mine. I want to remind myself that a job is not going to be the only thing that defines me..

And I hope that you all find that silver lining too in everything that you do.

Hmmmmm...

2008-11-04T23:10:00.007+08:00

Hmmm... I wonder who he is voting for.......

I don't think much of people who perpetually scream - Me, Me, Please vote me. I'd be damned if I had to hardsell myself this way.

Cigarettes why are you always on my mind?

2008-11-01T14:12:00.004+08:00

It's amazing how much I think about about smoking. I think about it when I take a dump, I think about it when I am full, I think about it when I am bored, I think about it when I step outdoor, I think about it when I need to reward myself, when I am pissed off with someone, I think about it when I smell and see it. I think about it loads. In every circumstance and whenever my brain needs a filler moving from one thing to another.

Then reality hits, I no longer smoke. Hello everyone, I am Natalie and I am a smoker who has chosen to quit for the good reasons in the world; reasons I think I know and reasons I constantly need reminding.

It has been four days since I have been clean and I ever more determined to win this battle against my arch-nemesis - Mr. Philip Morris.

Hope you had a lovely weekend.

Happy Birthday again Haye and thank you for inviting me to your party. It proved to myself that I could party without smoking. It's a first in many years. Here's to your halfway to retirement!!!

I quit!!!

2008-10-31T13:12:00.003+08:00

My dream is to help people live better. I am not being self-righteous nor that I think I am Nelson Mandela material - a man so great and selfless. Over the past two years, I have changed my lifestyle - I exercise 6 times a week, I stopped eating snacks, I only eat square meals and I don't drink. I have lost tons of weight and I have even most recently started my course in personal training.

I have one last vice which I am calling it quits - smoking! I have been smoking for 12 years, it started off innocently as a social smoker and because I was quite the party girl back then; it was part of the deal. When you smoke, you form social groups - you know all your gossips from the group and in many ways it was an exclusive pact. Most of my friends are smokers.

I threw out all my cigarettes today because one cannot be preaching about health and on the other hand have such disgusting habit. Who am I kidding? I have become ashamed of the fact that I smoke and it's time to call it quits.

So as of today, I do not smoke anymore and I will no longer choke when I run my marathons. So when I say I want to help people achieve their optimum health, it STARTS with ME!!!

Please act your age.

2008-10-30T14:38:00.003+08:00

I have a friend whose mum is a total one-woman show. I mean it. While her real age is not revealed to us, I am guessing it to be around 60-65. I absolutely respect women who go through the painstaking ordeal of making themself look and feel like a million bucks but my friend's mum is so far extreme, I dread to think how she looks like in the morning.

She parties with us, she tries to talk to us like she is one of the girls and how do you begin to describe her sense of style? The skirts are super short and the tops are super low - so short they sometimes make you go red because if it is your mum, you will tell her that sagging tits are not appropriate for public display. Did I even tell you that all the botox she has done has made it hard for her face to register emotions? Whether she is happy or sad, her face pretty much looks the same.

I feel sorry for her and all of us because in the proliferation of La Mer and all the miracle skin products that are deemed to be the elixir of youth, getting old is a fucking bitch! No one talks about aging in good light anymore. Everyone wants to be young. Every woman wants to look like a sweet young thing.

I checked the latest statistics for global life expectancy. A woman in HK is expected to live till 84 years of age while the men - 79 years. That's a lot of years being dependent on La Mer ain't it? I love the fact that I am older, I am embracing it because when you get older, you do get wiser and when I was young, I remember looking up to my Aunt Lucy because she had so much charisma and commanded so much presence.

What is it with all of us? When we were young, we can't wait to be the at the legal age of drinking or gambling and now we lie about our age? We can't have it all can we?

The first time for everything.

2008-10-27T20:02:00.012+08:00

Little that I know, my years of not paying attention in Biology class has come back to bite me in a big way. When I signed up to do my course in personal training, I didn't know that I was actually signing up to rediscover the anatomy of the human body. Terms like enhancing neuromuscular efficiency, saggital plane movements, transverse plane movements are really killing me. I don't think I have come across my trainers telling me; sure you need to work on your neuromuscular efficiency in order to achieve stability endurance. Blah... vomit!!!

Once a week, I trade my happy hour drinks for a three hour mental - draining, coma- inducing class along with some of the fittest looking people I have ever seen. The men have such big biceps, I think they can do push ups with one hand and carry me with the other while the women are, I have to admit pretty fine looking.. I feel like a blob next to them..

While I am not crazy about medical terms, I admit I am so lucky to be able to do something I have always wanted to do.

All my course materials. That text book is thicker than The bible, I am telling you

See what I mean? Biology.. Here is an introduction of your freaking skeletal system

And also, Rudi and I have started social dance, we had our first class last Sunday. It was tragic, he has two left foot and I have two right foot. In a way, that's why we are meant for each other.
And if any of you want to improve your health, I am looking for guinea pigs. No guarantees if I tear or break anything okie?

Wanchai, the urban ghost town

2008-10-25T00:23:00.019+08:00

At the start of my reign in Tai-taidom beginning of this month, I came up with a list of the things I had wanted to do. I had one of it fulfilled - visiting the infamous haunted house Nam Koo Terrace.

Thanks to the emaculate, ever so gorgeous Ms. Ruby Poon; she sniffed out a way for us to go to Nam Koo Terrace in a group. Last last Saturday night Ruby arranged a double date for us to visit 8 of Wanchai's most haunted spots ( in conjunction with Halloween) While I am not sure some of these places are as haunted as fabled, it was a lovely night seeing Wanchai at its element of intrigue while uncovering some of its rich history.

The landscape of Wanchai is forever changed, no thanks to future development projects poised to take place in the next few years. Like the always say, nothing lasts forever but in HK; it's even shorter than you expect it to be.

The Blue House off Queen's Road East.

The Blue House at another angle

The old Post office at Queen's Road East. In the 50s, it seemed there was this ghost Postman who delivered mails to houses late in the night time. Recipients were often rewarded with a death in the household. The solution to repel this unwelcomed ghost? A temple was built to placate the ghost. My solution is far simpler - ghost dogs! Dogs hate postmen!

Our guide wasn't a very convincing storyteller, I think she caught me rolling my eyes a few times throughout the night.

Our guide was probably the scariest sight we saw that night.

The so called " most haunted building" in Wanchai " so haunted that even cops paroling the neighborhood avoided it

An old abandoned school near Ship Street. Rumor has it someone hung herself here

The stairs leading up to Nam Koo Terrace. Creepy..... Creepy.....

The old Wanchai market. The guide said that during the Japanese occupation, it had been used to store corpses

The perfect way to end the night - dinner at the trendy The Pawn followed by more real ghost stories

Women - Best friend or foe?

2008-10-23T16:34:00.005+08:00

My good friend Ruby has just told me about something that had happened to her while she was out shopping yesterday. She had wanted to try on this skirt that this other woman was trying. It didn't fit her and Ruby had asked the sales assistant if she could try it. That was the last piece and when the sales assistant asked the lady if she had wanted it and she did. Ruby was baffled and she didn't understand why she bought something that didn't fit her.

Women can either be your best friend or they are your best foe. Women are often so insecure and competitive - and when they are, they are as well as irrational as well. I went hiking yesterday morning with Taffy and his friends and family. He took his daughter Nairobi along with her friend Lelaila. Nairobi had wanted to walk Sophie and so did Lelaila. They faught over Sophie like nobody's business. In the end, we had to develop this 5 minutes system so that both girls can take turns. I reckon if it is just Nairobi alone, she'd probably won't even give a flying fuck about my dog.

When it comes to competition with another woman, I am guilty of it as well. Ever since I was young, I have developed an inferiority complex towards my cousin Jenny. Jenny is a year younger than me and throughout my entire childhood and teenage years; my mother's permanent obssession was comparing her to me.

Jenny is everything parents hope their children turn out to be. Polite, mild-mannered; Jenny studied bio- technology at the University of Singapore. You would think she is a nerd but no, she is a full 5 feet 7 inches of pure gorgeousness. She is the reincarnation of boobs on sticks ( a full cup C) and she has the most sensuous " come fuck me" mouth. In short I have every single irrational reason to hate her and I do. Till today, I feel a sense of awkwardness whenever I am around her and my defensive mode run on overdrive whenever my mother starts talking about me and her in the same breath.

I know there is no manuals for parenting; our parents learn to be parents through trials and errors. If there is one thing I think parents should never ever do is compare their child with anyone.

When my mother told me last year that Jenny has an eating disorder and had fainted in the toilet, I can't help but think well it's about time Ms. Perfect fucked up.

The games we play.

2008-10-20T15:16:00.004+08:00

I find the course of my life had temporarily come to a pause after I have succumbed to a lethal substance abuse known as rewatching the entire Season 1 - 7 of Sex and the City. I am a woman hooked; I tell myself again and again after one episode, " One more" and that's the problem with addictions, there is never enough unless you have overdosed.

I don't know why I started watching it again but I thought I would understand so much better as a 30 year old woman. When you watch the entire Season 3 in two days, you can't help feel that the dating game is exhausting. As much as I had loved the series when it first came out 10 years ago, I can't help but to think now that the lives of the protaganists - Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte are in many ways the lives of the people I know in real life. They seemed to have everything but are actually very empty inside. Living in Manhattan is very similar to living in HK, we thrive on speed, changes and alienation.

If women had in the last 30 years or so struggled for equal rights, we are sure as fuck that we have not liberated outselves in the department of dating. I don't know if it's mere coincidence but I recently had two attractive and successful investment bankers telling me that they envied my life because I have found a good man to share my life with.

Girls, this is the honest truth and you can ask my man if you want. I am keen believer of going out there and getting what I want. Why do we play all these mind games? Why are we wasting so much time? Why do we always say that there all the good men out there are either gay or married? Have we forgotten that most gay men have a problem with fidelity or that many of who we defined as good men might in the future get a divorce?

I am glad I don't live in New York, my friend Josephine tells me that when it comes to dating, there are so many definitions. You can see someone, date someone and going exclusive with someone. Where are we right now? What is the hell is the difference? It seems when you see someone, you are allowed to see a few at the same time, when you date it's slightly more serious and how do I know when I am exclusively dating just one person? I am thinking right now as it is, aren't there enough labels ? A man's man, a metrosexual, a bisexual - I feel like I am walking past the biscuits aisle in a supermarket; the variety is just startling. We like categories don't we?

So after all these years, have I changed? Ten years ago, I really wanted to be Samantha and it wasn't because she was a nympho; it was because she didn't need to find someone to see herself as a complete picture and in a world where people tell again and again that you are no one unless you are loved, Samantha was my beacon of hope.

Taffy my friend asked me, why do you want to get married? I'd tell you why, I am not afraid of dying alone, I am someone who has a lot of love to give, I'd reckon it would be ashamed not giving it out to anyone. That's really it.

Babies and Me

2008-10-17T12:45:00.005+08:00

Meet baby Matthew Fong the miracle baby

After I met my friend Queenie yesterday I can't help but to think that children are truly a miracle for those who want them. I have never met anyone who wanted a child so much. I have been doing a lot interviews with couples who want children and I am not sure if all of them want them based on good enough reasons.

The journey of having Matthew has been extremely tumultuous, she has been married eight years. After two miscarriages and desperate attempts of trying everything - western medicine, chinese medicine and alternative therapies; she was at her wit's end but nonetheless tried to remain positive.

I listened intently to her crazy routine of going to one doctor to another; trying out medicinal remedies and incessantly keeping track of her menstrual cycle. If I were her husband, I'd be so stressed till the point, I can't a get hard-on. I have never met anyone so determined to be a mother. I laughed and I wondered why women of the past were so fertile. My mother conceived me almost immediately after getting married -like after two freaking months or when we were in school, we hear about teenage chicks getting knocked up by their college boyfriends after just one fuck. And on one hand, we have my poor friend who tried and tried.

A month just before she finally fell pregnant, her doctor told her there is nothing else he could do for her because he just can't find what is wrong with her. That day when he told her that, her world caved in and she felt so hopeless. His only recommendation was to try IVF but the chances were only 50- 50.

Her husband took her for her holiday to Malaysia last Christmas and she fell pregnant ( I am so proud to be Malaysia, I feel like waving my national flag now) So, there are some prayers that get answered. I think that they as a family is so lucky is have one another. Good luck baby Matthew, it's a tough world out there. Your parents love you so much.

As for me, motherhood is not really my thing and you know how I know. I ended up being more interested in Janga - the cat.

OceanPark Halloween Bash.

2008-10-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

Allan Zeman has done it again as the doyant of the underworld, he promised that this year's Ocean Park Halloween Party to be better than the last - and it was!!!!

With 8 haunted houses ,my favorite this year is the doll factory. Ever since I was young, I hated porcelain dolls, its eyes so lifelike you'd actually believe that it's real. And more so after Chucky became somewhat a cult hit.

Ghost bride with the vengeance to kill

This ghost not scary la..

Count darling, scary fangs don't frighten me. I do think sleeping in a coffin is pretty hot!

Poor paper doll ghost, it was so hot I saw sweat trickling down his temples.

Mr. Zeman if you come across my blog, can I volunteer to be a ghost next year? I make an excellent Chucky.

Happy Birthday Mum.

2008-10-13T22:02:00.000+08:00

My mother fell down and broke her arm three days ago. While Rudi and I were deciding to send her a gift; we weren't really sure to buy her a birthday gift or a get well gift. We finally decided on a get well hamper with filled with wholesome goodies.

I have always been daddy's girl. My relationship with my mother has consistently been a struggle. I am ashamed to say this but with my mother, I have always been the worst version of myself. I cringe whenever I look back at our troubled relationship because through our constant fightings; I have said the worst things to deliberately hurt her. When I was young, I repeatedly told myself that I want to be the exact opposite of her. My god I was such an arrogant fool.

I had habored so much anger towards her and I hated how people around her take advantage of her because she is one of those people who never questions anyone's intention. Even during my generation, the idea of being a stay home mum was quite a rarity then. As we got older, her world became more and more isolated and it became harder and harder to tell her things because she had lost touch with the world.

I think it was only this year that I don't want/ simply refuse to fight with her anymore because I hate to admit how hurt I get whenever I fight her. When I went home some months back, I lasted one week without fighting with her, it's a really an accomplishment in itself. The thing is I think in life, we choose to take certain perspectives in life and I am glad that since we are still both alive, we are given the chance to start anew. So mum, Happy Birthday and you know what, it's hard to tell you I love you because I love you so much from the bottom of my heart. Happy Birthday.

Meet the Mek Tribe

2008-10-13T12:58:00.000+08:00

I was watching this program called In World's Lost Tribes:New Adventures of Mark and Olly on Discovery. It's about these two white guys living amongst the Mek Tribe, a primitive tribe that had pretty much preserved their way of living for thousands of years in the deep jungles of Papua New Guinea for four months.

While I think it's cool that there is some mysteries left in the world; I don't quite understand their choice of clothes or rather lack of it. Here's is why.

Ta-DAH! Meet the Mek Tribe. The men walk around in the nude with only this pipe-like object that covers their penises - it's called a penis gourd. I am not ethnocentric but I seriously find this an inconvenience. Since life in the jungle is so complex; almost like a field of bobby traps, doesn't the penis gourd like get in the way a lot? Like when you're climbing trees - how about risking your gourd to get stuck between tree branches? I can think of a million scenarios getting caught in awkward situations.

True to societal order, if you're someone special like the village headman, you get to adorned your gourd with feathers and miscellaneous accessories. I wonder how it stays in place, they surely don't walk around with permenant hard-ons right. I guess, I will be waiting till next episode to see that because one of the white dudes will get to wear one.

I heart Hong Kong

2008-10-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

My hair technician Jan told me about this really dope place in Causeway Bay to see an unobstructed view of the harbor. I took Rudi there the other day. While I reckon that it doesn't really the showcase the best bit of HK, HK for me still has the best skyline. When people think of HK, they think about tall buildings like the IFC and now the ICC but I reckon HK has more attitude than that.

As I get older, I am often saddened by the fact that I am constantly pulled further and further from the dreams that were conceived during my childhood. However being able to come to HK and live here is definitely a dream come true.

When I was young, I used to play this game with my brothers, we used to walk around the neighbourhood in the evenings and imagined the type of people that live in certain houses. There is plenty to choose from; from this picture

Rudi, very camera shy actually

I like the perspective of thus picture and the colours turned out the way I like it

Beneath sits one of the busiest streets in Causeway Bay - Paterson Street

There is so much beauty in the ordinary. We as people often fail to see that.

I love living in a city close to the sea. There is something about the sea that soothes me. I don't think I could go very long without smelling the sea

I love iPhoto. It's easy to use and comes with many dope functions

Have a lovely weekend people

An Eulogy for Myself.

2008-10-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me today When I die, how would I want to be remembered?

I didn't really have an answer and because I am someone who thinks about the answer way after a question has been asked. I asked myself over and over again how I would want to be remembered.

If you had asked me 10 years ago, I would want to be immortalised through a book. It was 1998, I was at a flea market and I bought Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Gray. I fell in love with it immediately and since then I have pretty much read everything Oscar Wilde had ever written. Like most authors during his time, he died a tragic death and he was pretty much broke. Nevertheless, I still consider him pretty lucky as he is immortalised through his books like many other great writers.

While I still hope that there will be a day whereby I can be immortalised through the same manner, I no longer think that is the most important thing.

When we die, we do not get a chance to write our own eulogy. The memories of us are kept by people who know us. Someone I know not too well told me one thing that I will always remember. While our family are the people that love us unconditionally, we are usually defined by our friends.

So if I ever die before my time - this is how I want to be remembered.

Natalie Tong , born 1979 - 20XX was not perfect but hated mediocrity. The only true treasure she held on to was the desire of learning Her lifelong dream was to learn something new everyday and that everything she chose to do, she gave it a 110%. Never a fan of of societal norms and rules; she lived dangerously by questioning the very essence that defined the world we lived in today. Long accepted that the everything in life exists in a state of impermenance, she was determined to find happiness in every circumstance. And she did by learning to let go.

I hate shower room talks.

2008-10-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

There is something bugging me and it bugs me a whole lot. I do not know if this is considered normal code of conduct or maybe it's just me. Whenever I'm in the gym, I can't stand people talking to me whilst I am at my most vulnerable state - stark naked!

Okie I was observing this conversation between these two middle aged ladies ( no offense to older women), they had just got out of the shower.

Lady A: Have you been attending Brian's class? ( stark naked she was drying her toes)

Lady B: Yes, his classes are so hardcore ( stark naked, she was drying her armpits)

Lady A: I heard someone pulled a tendon at his class the other day ( stark naked she was combing her hair)

Lady B: Serious? His classes are very advanced ( stark naked she was applying cream on her face)

I went into the shower and when I came out 10 minutes later, they were still having their chat and they were still stark naked.

One of them came to me and pointed at my tattoos and asked, " Are those real?". I was trying to dry myself ASAP and then put some clothes on. After I slipped on my underwear I turned and said, you can try stratching it out if you want to.

They continued asking me more questions.

It was so distracting and it's worse for us women because we have peripheral vision. It is a superpower ability whereby even whilst we are looking at you in the eyes, we can still see other parts of the body.When I was answering them all those questions, I can't help but to look at their bush. It's so bad, I think men will be embarrass by it.

I seriously do not understand why Chinese women don't shave or wax. I don't know if it is still pre-dominantly Asian culture but there is no reason not to especially with the amount of spas in the territory. Call me a fanatic if you want but I am definitely anti- bush.

So does it happen in the guy's changing room too?

I asked Rudi, if he checks out other guys in the changing room.

He said no, unless you want to get beaten up.

That's true men do not have peripheral vision. That's how we always know when they are looking at our boobs.

Fat Girl Syndrome.

2008-10-07T14:57:00.001+08:00

I have fat girl syndrome. I know I sound like one of those whiny little bitches who sit around talking about how fat they are when they are really not. The thing is once you have been fat before and when people incessantly give you flak for not being thin, you live with the scars forever..

My aunties and mother used to say shit to me like," Aiya fat girls cannot get married because who wants to marry someone who eats more than them."

What is fat girl syndrome?

The characteristics of fat girl syndrome are - you still think you're fat when you're not, once you put on 2 pounds you get really upset and you never think you're beautiful enough.

It's so sad to feel that way, I can't help it, I am only human.

For those who you who haven't known me long enough, you probably can't imagine a fat Natalie. Ah ha! I have evidence. I was looking through photos of me in iPhoto and I found some really incriminating pictures of myself. I want to burn them and hide them in a place where no one can find them but since I am on my way to be a personal trainer and I am the real deal and not the product of some fat busting pill/ slimming fad. I want to share with you guys - my fattest photos.

At my fattest, I weigh about 135 - 140 pounds. I mean it's not really heavy heavy but considering my height which is just a little off midget standards; I was fat. My BMI was 27 and body fat was 41% - that is fucking unhealthy.

Pre- exercise days - walking up a flight of stairs can leave me panting for air. 1 and a half years ago. Picture taken circa June 2007

Oh fuck I look pregnant. Look at my gut! Started going to the gym. Picture taken circa July/ August 2007 Chengdu October. Starting to lose some weight. I hate that double chin

Halloween 2007. Still visible double chin but starting to that wonderful exercise glow

Thailand - November 2007. I can finally wear my old jeans and my old tiny Ts.

First marathon December 2007. I walked more than I run. But not anymore.

My Birthday January 2008. Hard at training for the Standard Chartered Marathon. Double chin also gone. Yipppppeeeee!!!

Present day Nat. August 2008. 108 pounds, BMI 18 and fat level 23% - still can improve

I could get used to Tai Taidom.

2008-10-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

While I know I am not Tai-Tai material, spending the day like one once in a while is total revelry. I had such a nice day today. It's been so long since I have not rushed around for appointments, fulfilling obligations or talking to really obnoxious people.

It started with a sweat inducing session of Spinning and another set of vigorous circuit training at the gym followed with a light healthy lunch of chicken and mushroom ciabatta( trust me you don't work so hard just to blow on KFC or Mcdonalds). In true tai-tai fashion, I spent the whole afternoon at the hair salon getting my hair cut, coloring and treatment.

I met Jennifer for dinner before watching The Duchness starring Kiera Knightley. While I enjoy period movies for the cinematography and the grandeaur of portrayal of the decadent lifestyle, artistocrats seemed to enjoy during the Victorian era; I am so fucking glad I am not a woman of that era.

You're blamed for the stupidiest things - like not being able to produce a son, you can't vote, if you're rich; you are likely to live in a gilded cage. Kiera Knightley plays the Duchess of Devonshire and the Duke is the most powerful dude besides the royal family. Loveless marriage, Duke takes in a mistress who is coincidentally the Duchess's best friend, she loves this other guy but of course, they never ended up being together.. Very tragic.

Funny, fast forward to the 20th Century - we see Lady Diana and Prince Charles with almost the same storyline.. Well at least she got her divorce.

Misia Discoteque Asia Concert

2008-10-05T15:17:00.001+08:00

Went for the Misia Discoteque Asia Concert last night at the Asia World Expo. I am not exactly a fan of Japanese music but I bought the tickets for Rudi since he is such an adoring fan of the pint sized so called Queen of R & B in Japan. And guess what after the concert, I am a converted Misia fan.

Misia is only 153 cm and weighs a mere 40 kgs( holy moly!!) and like they always say good things come in small packages - Misia served this analogy justice!

Within minutes of opening her concert, Misia has got the crowd working. That girl's got HUGE lungs. I have never seen anyone so energetic maybe with the exception of Beyonce. Like I consider myself really fit and all but I don't think I could sing and dance at the same time - and it's not recorded. She sang everything LIVE!

That's like impossible in HK because none of what we consider singers in HK are actually singers. They are more eye candies than anything else. Talent - is secondary.

If there was a talent that I wished I had, it will most probably the ability to sing. Music is just an elusive language whereby you don't need to understand it to be able to feel it. And I felt it last night. During some of her slower numbers, I actually had goosebumps running across my arms.

So Misia, thanks for a good time last night. I haven't danced like this for ages!!!! Please come back again soon! I promise I won't download your music off BT and buy all original copies of your CDs.

My readers - they didn't allow any photos last night - so I found this on Youtube. Enjoy please.

Who do we really know?

2008-10-03T13:21:00.000+08:00

There is another typhoon brewing outside, this year alone I think there has been more than five Typhoon 8s and one Typhoon 9. Took Sophie down for a swim and the sea is rough.

My mind was wandering when I suddenly thought about my trip back home about four months ago. I had found out that an ex-colleague recently filed for a divorce. She got married the year before I came to HK and I liked her ex tremendously. Good looking, soft spoken - he was definitely the type of guy I'd liked to walk me to my car after a night out.

Why? What? How? I had all these questions. He beats her. He beats the living daylights out of her. The year 2008, women in my mind has the same equality as every man and yet there are still some of us subjected to domestic violence. I can't help but weep. I often thought of domestic voilence occuring in poor countries like India and yet it was right there, right below my nose and it happened to a friend I cared about.

That's life, who do we really know? No one.

We like to think we understand but that's really bullshit. We only see bits and pieces of a person, but trulywe have no inkling who they really are. All of us as people have compartments - we choose who we want to show you and who we want to hide.

When I was young, when I didn't understand why my father never came home anymore, I hate it when people tell me. Don't worry, I understand what you are going through.

FUCK YOU! Don't even start with me. How do you even begin to decipher how I feel?

Don't get me wrong, I am not angry anymore. I thank everything that happened to me. I thank my parents for showing me what could possibly go wrong with a marriage. I have no shame to admit that I grew up way before a lot of people did. I was never really into the idea of happily ever afters and that you grow up finding the one..

But life as we know is a comedian, it loves to prove us wrong. Life as it turns out for me, I am pleasantly surprised to find the one and for once, I'd like to say, I have a family of my own.

Unleasing your fantasies

2008-10-02T14:54:00.000+08:00

And now the eagerly anticipated unveiling of your sexual fantasies... in no particular order

Fantasy Role Plays

1.) Tarzan & Jane - You Tarzan, Me Jane! Ooooo dirty long-haired men dressed in nothing but loin cloth, swinging from one tree to another. I like!!!

2.) Teacher and Student -I am from an all girl school, it's hard to understand this fantasy but I guess if you have been bad, you deserved to be spanked - Hard!

3.) Men in Uniform - When I was young, I loved pilots. My ideal pilot - Richard Gere, those puppy dog eyes drive me mad. As I grow older and given my frequent travels, I am dissapointed to say that I have not seen a single good looking pilot- they are mostly, old and fat. If you are a hot pilot, please e-mail me your photo and rekindle my childhood fantasy. Thank you :)

4.) Dracula and Victim - I almost fell off my chair when I heard this. Oooo, I am imagining, a dark quiet night then the cursed one tempts me into his lair and give me his bite of immortality. I think secretly Dracula is a boob man, he keeps biting all these chicks with huge tits. I think I cannot qualify la.

5.) Gym instructor - Because I know how much close contacts are involved during a training session, I assure Rudi that all my instructors are gay! And they are!

6.) Doctor and Nurse - Doctor, doctor please help me because I feel the urge of being very very naughty. Hahaha!

7.) Delivery Guy/ Plumber - Oh my god, have you seen how delivery guys look like in HK? They are creepy.

Fantasy Public Places

1.) Beach - I don't know about you but for me it's better in the head than in real life. I hate walking Sophie on the beach, you know why, there is sand everywhere even between my toes. The last thing I want is sand between my crack.

2.) Public Toilet - At least the toilets are dry in HK, in Malaysia you risk breaking your Pelvic bone.

3.) Airplane toilet - Please pray there is no turbulence

4.) Confession Box in church - Dear Father, I have sinned and I have sinned bad. Will you forgive me for taining your house of worship?

5.) Changing rooms - " Miss, do you need a hand with the zipper?". Wait ah, I am co---ming!

6.) Anywhere whereby you risk caught - There is something so exciting about the fear of getting caught. It's like when you are young, your parents tell you not to play with fire. And you know better than I do, it's the risk of getting burned that thrills you more than anything. Right?

The most popular fantasies

1.) The use of sex apparatus - handcuffs, whips, thunder beads and leather - loads of leather!

2.) Threesomes - win hands down!!

Well done people thank you for your generous contributions!!!

All pictures are courtesy of Getty Images! Thank you Getty!

C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.I.O.N

2008-09-30T15:06:00.000+08:00

My last day at work!!! My reign in Tai-Tai-dom begins today till I don't know when ( cos already got job offers)

In the last issue of HK Magazine - the editors listed out 750 things to do in HK before you drop dead and die. I highlighted on things I want to do during my reign of terror - I added some as well.

1.) Watch all of Stephen Chow’s movies
I already did. I love Stephen Chow and if it wasn't for this great man, I wouldn't have picked up my good-enough- to -curse-your-mother Cantonese and life in HK would be absolutely painful if you cannot speak this vividly harsh/ descriptive language. I love Cantonese to death - there is no other language in the world whereby you can complete the whole sentence with just curse words. Curse words that will make a sailor blush!

2.) Try to figure out what “sweep the street” means in Mong Kok slang, and then go do it
Ruby - any idea please?

3.) Pretend to be a triad
I think if people hear me curse in Cantonese, they'd already think I am one,.

4.) Live in a caged home for a night in Sham Shui Po
I am interested but I am too chicken

5.) Wear a Mickey Mouse t-shirt to Ocean Park
How can you do that, Alan Zeman would be very upset and he will dressed up as a vampire to scare me! I'd just wear Mickey ears instead.

6.) Sing karaoke around the clock at Red Box or Green Box
Very challenging when you cannot read Chinese and the English songs are just too old.

7.) Spend a whole Sunday going on open tours of houses on sale at the Peak
I cannot afford but you can't stop me from dreaming right.

8.) Pick a mobile phone number with as many 8s in it as possible
Not just the 8s, I'd add the 484848484 ( loosely translated into die rich in Cantonese)

9.) Belly dance outside Times Square
Belly dance will always be one of those things I imagine I can do well. The last time I went for Belly Dance - teacher said to me, eh please shake your ass only. I am sorry la, when I shake everything shakes, I have no concept of isolation. Sorry, sorry!

10.) Get spooked in the haunted Nam Koo Terrace
Hmmm... This activity will be considered; when I am drunk enough

11.) Wear a tailor-made cheongsam (or Mao suit if you’re a man) and visit all of Wong Kar-wai’s film sets
I tailored made my first qi pao while I was in Beijing, still have no chance of wearing it yet. Why not ya? I will even carry a handkerchief and walk around Sai Wan last at night. I think I will scare some people to death.

12.) Spend a night at Bruce Lee’s old home in Kowloon Tong. It’s now a love hotel.
Haha, I'd make Rudi dress up like Bruce Lee.

13.) Panic buy rice and cooking oil during the next typhoon 8
Ya man, I seriously don't understand this strange phenomenon. Have you seen the way HK people shop just before a Typhoon comes?It's enough food to feed a Mexican family for a month.

14.) Pick a paper hungry ghost offering in Sai Ying Pun
I was speechless when I found out how much money people who make paper offerings make. The thing I don't understand is right, since you can literally buy everything you want including paper planes, how come the replica is not the size of an actual plane but when it comes to things like PSP, mobile phones, they are made based on the actual size right.

15.) Do a Park’n’shop vs. Wellcome price comparison on soy sauce
Only if I am bored enough

16.) Take cute photo stickers of yourself
I have been wanting to do this like for ages.. I will even do the peace sign and wear a pink ribbon!!

17.) Unleash your inner geek with a cosplay costume
Who says only geeks enjoy cosplay? I can definitely tell you it's not just geeks who enjoy cosplay okie.

18.) Buy nunchaku from a Mong Kok “sports” shop
I love nunchakus but a klutz like me will end up hitting myself or breaking everything around me

19.) Eat a whole roasted goose at Yung Kee
Goose? I might have to run the whole day to burn it off, I'd go for a pigeon instead

20.) Try Mongolian hotpot at Little Sheep
I love Little Sheep but everytime I walk out from Little Sheep, I end up smelling like a Big Sheep. I tell you the smell is so pungent that even my bra smells sheep-ish

21.) Eat a whole bag of old-school White Rabbit sweets
Is this list compiled before the Melanine food scare? I call them my sweet Chinese New Year treats. Once you pop, you cannot stop. I love them but let's wait till this food scare blows over.

22.) Visit a Wan Chai strip club
I have been in HK close to 4 years; the thing is have you seen the scantily clad women dressed outside Lockhart Road, my mother looks young compare to them.

23.) Have your eyebrows threaded
Oh I am so tempted to do that. I am thinking right, do they just thread the eyebrows ?

24.) Sneak into the Four Seasons pool and listen to the underwater music
Oh really, what type of music do they play? This sounds seriously dope.

25.) Spend a day at the Landmark Mandarin Spa
Darling, since I love you so much can you prove how much you love me too.. I give you free massage for one month la.. plus stretches

26.) Rid yourself of calluses with a Shanghai-style pedicure
Or I can try those skin eating fish therapy.. eeeeeeee so ticklish!!!

27.) Eat an entire box of mooncakes
No fucking way, till today Ruby is still laughing at me. Two years ago, I was so happy that a client gave us a box of mooncake from Peninsula, I ate two at one-go. So sick that I puked in Alexandra House. Since then, mooncakes don't quite look the same to me

28.) Get an old lady to professionally beat up paper effigies of your enemies
I will be happy to provide her with a list and it starts with my................................

29.) Participate in a TVB game show
Oh my god, I have been wanting to do this like forever.

30.) Get a new ID card with a nicer mugshot by “losing” the old one
I seriously don't mind the trouble because in my current ID card I was still fat.

31.) Catch a squid in Clear Water Bay
And prawn fishing as well

Adding to the list, things I want to do

32.) Be an extra at Ocean Park's Halloween Celebration

33.) Take the tram from Sai Wan all the way to Sau Kei Wan

34.) Bask at the Mid Level escalators

Wah after writing such an extensive list right, I am damn tired.

Thank you for sharing with me your fantasies ( from my previous post) I am still collecting stories, will publish them next!

Two Guys or Two Girls?

2008-09-29T14:56:00.000+08:00

Last Friday my friend J lamented over dinner that she was recently invited by a couple to do a threesome. My Peking duck rolled out of the dough and I asked if she did.

"Very gross la, please and plus they are so old okie!"- that was her answer

Maybe I am a bit weird but I was actually quite proud of her for getting that indecent proposal. This is the thing, I don't think swinging couples pick any random person for such wonderful fun! Here are the reasons why I think she was asked

1.) J is extremely sexy - she has the right curves at the all right places and she does remind me of Kimora Lee Simmons

2.) She is such a loud mouth when it comes to sex. Always talking about ham-sup shit and every little thing reminds her of sex.

3.) She is such a good-humored and friendly person, people might often take her gesture as an open invitation for sexual escapades.

Being the pat-poh that I am ( a trained journalist right) I simply wouldn't let the subject matter rest and continued to ask more questions - like if they were young would you? Al lthe girls at the table gave their take to the matter.

The consensus reached that night over dinner were if there were two guys then it would be great because men are such egoistic/competitive beings, they both will be doing their best to outperform one another. And besides women enjoy being pampered.

If there were two girls - not very great la, what is the other one supposed to do right; it's like an extra leg you don't need. Also, men are terrible at multi-tasking; they simply cannot do more than one thing at a time. Us women on the other hand are terrific multi-taskers. My best friend Christina eats KFC with one hand and drives with the other. You see what I mean right? I can't tell you how pissed off Rudi gets with me when I tell him, darling please fetch me water and he says, " Can you see I am busy?".

Since I have been telling you guys that I am now at crossroads thinking about what to do next with my career, a business idea went Ka-ching! in my head. You see people like that swinging couple, imagine the type of embarrassment they have to go through after being turned down so blatantly and since I used to do events management right - what do you think about running a business helping people realise their sexual fantasies??!!!!

Besides legal implications like not really being able to state the type of business I do in my business registration, I really think people will pay for my services. I did my research and there is a company in the UK that "specialises" in turning people's most outlandish fantasies into reality. And people do actually pay for it. One lady paid 10,000 pounds to get hers fulfilled. That's like HKD 150,000.. Man, that is really some extensive fantasy. Maybe it involves tigers and lions.. Grrrrrr!!!

I am now currently conducting a survey on sexual fantasies la and I will publish it soon. So if you have a fantasy you want to share with me, please e-mail me okie - natalietong@hotmail.com
Don't worry I won't reveal your name or tell your mother.

A life less ordinary

2008-09-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

So the story is I am due to leave my job in about two days time; I find myself in a crossroad of decisions.

Since I fired my boss, I have registered for my personal training course which starts next month. Yes, as in a gym instructor! My ex boss said to me, I have been scratching my head thinking why you have made such a drastic decision. See, I keep telling everyone, since I work out 6 times a week; I might as well incorporate it into a job. And no I am not just going to be a personal trainer, I want to do it as a part time thingy.

Since I got into this fitness mode more than a year and a half ago, I have inspired and motivated my colleagues and peers to jump into the gym-monkey mode as well. And I think why not? I have even thought about how my business card should look like - A sillhouette of me holding a whip in one hand and a dumb bell in the other. My target customers - dirty old white men who are 100 pounds off their ideal weight. I'd definitely make them sweat their balls off! Better be very scared!!

Back to the job thingy, at this moment; I have a few options in hand and I feel a little conflicted. I don't know whether if I should go back to what I was doing before because I was doing it so well and plus once you have been doing something for so long, you already have the experience and the contacts. And plus you are at liberty to demand for a higher salary and better package so on and so forth. On the other side of the coin, maybe I should try something entirely new because if we don't try new things, we do not know how much we can extend and expand.

I feel like I am learning to swim again - when you're a kid, your parents dump you in the pool and you paddle and paddle because you have no concept of drowning. Now, the conept of drowning is something very real.

I found myself telling my friend David something I have felt for years yet I might have forgotten about it along the way. Ever since I was young, I have this notion that I was never going to be just average. I always feel that I was destined to do something. And it worries now me now than ever because I am no closer to finding it. However like I said before, I am thankful that whatever I have done in the past and continue doing now is only because of passion. I don't know if I ever will find my destiny but right now I am just letting love and interest do the talking.

And in the meanwhile, enjoy my Tai- Tai break since Rudi has granted me permission to soak in Tai- Taidom. Oh yes, in about 3 months, please call me Ms. Instructor. I'd be happy to give anyone a trial lesson.

Colours of Beijing

2008-09-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

I love Beijing. I love the people, the culture, the food and the history of the city. It is hard to believe that this city is at least a 1000 years ago because when you see Beijing today, skyscrapers are a common sight. I like the fact that the city is laid out in rings - the first ring of the city starts from the walls surrounding the Forbidden City.

During the weekends, I had the privilege of walking around with my camera taking photos of the city. I have been told time and time that I take very creative photos( out focus seems to be my signature) I don't think Wing Shya ( Wong Kar Wai's ex photographer) is really all that good anyways. For me pictures need to frame a perspective from the seer's point of view. Again like everything in life, there is no right or wrong answers, I hope you can enjoy them. For those of you who have not been in Beijing, I hope that someday you can because I reckon it's definitely one of the best cities to live in Asia. As for me, I'll only live in Beijing if the air quality improves - one day of walking around in the city leaves you with a lot of nose shit.

Robots made out of tin - Toys from your childhood before there were G.I Joes

Oh my god, decisions and decisions!

Very tacky, I know!

I guess it's cool to joke about the Cultural Revolution now?

I don't know why Chairman Mao is often depicted with rosy fat cheeks, surely if you lived on Communistic diet, you can't get cheeks like those right? And so I guess he didn't

I want to bring those home !

So cute!

Little pussy sitting serenely on the grounds of Temples of Heaven

The emperors are now churning in their graves, everyone can be royal these days for only 100 Yuan

The Forbidden City - they don't call it a fucking city for no reason! Too bad the weather sucked that day!

I swear, it started with just the old guy then more and more came. I love this lack of inhabitation, just join la what's the problem right?

I don't know why, there is something very funny about this picture. The guy in wheel chair had a harmonica and at the back of him are those two in the next picture

This is why Beijing is so cool, it's the concoction between different elements.

I hope someday Rudi and I don't end up like this. Surely a divorce is in the cards!

I'd like to believe that no matter how different we are and how we are defined by our beliefs and our values, there are just fundamental things that truly remind how alike we are of each other. And maybe we should talk more about these more instead of just differences

Oh look at the doggie!! So cute

Turning a Corner in my life.

2008-09-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

I think it was April's birthday a few years ago that I said - When it is my turn turning 30, I think I will cry on the night of my birthday. * Gasp**

Fast forward to a few years later to present day- approximately four months before I turn 30, I surprise myself more and more at how at ease I am of the idea of turning 3-0 ( hopefully when I turn 40 I will have the same type of feeling)

Joyce asked me yesterday what how I see myself as a 30 year woman. My answer - A confident woman who is not out to please anyone and someone who feels good from within. I am glad to turn 30, my 20 something was very difficult. I was egoistic and constantly seeking to impress. I spoke before thinking about consequences and I hated how I only want to see things from my perspectives. Along the way, I lost a lot of friends- those who survived - thank you la for taking my shit when you don't have to.

When I was 26 I moved to Hong Kong, again it was so hard - starting from stratch, I didn't know anyone and I wondered why HK people are so rude and inconsiderate. I absolutely didn't understand the culture - I didn't understand why it had been a British colony for 15X years and no one really spoke English, I hated how no one bothered holding doors for you and yet I loved HK to the core. The pressure and the bloody competition. The fact that they start selling winter wear at the end tail of summer. Nothing is forever in HK. For the first time in my life, I feel that I am competing based on merits and not the fact that I am Chinese and I am not pee-ved over favoritism.

After being in HK for so long, I find myself changed - I speak to my friends and family back home in Malaysia and maybe it's not fair for me to say this but Malaysia has turned into a sad place. I actually feel fear when I walk on the streets ( after countless warnings from mum about snatch thieves/ kidnappers) I don't know how kids are growing up in Malaysia but during my childhood, it was a wholesome place to raise a family. I remembered climbing over my neighbour's house to pluck rambutans ( for some strange reason the house next door was always vacant, rumour has it that it is haunted ), BBQing my dad's koi fish ( my brother's suggestion), cycling around the neighbourhood and playing badminton with my brothers. It wasn't always easy but I was a happy child.

Something happened during my teenage years - I think it was called the Kurt Cobain, teenage angst, melancholic/ father hating/ mother blaming era descended. Looking back everyone had the same story, my parents loved me yet they don't know how to love me. All this anger I channel it into my music/ art/ writing poems about morbidity and everyone wanted to line their eyes with black eyeliner. When Kurt pulled the trigger to his head, I thought normality would be restored but apparently till now I still know of people who are stuck at grundge mode.

I have been thinking a lot of about the next decade of my life and here is my summary of it so far

1.) The reason why I refuse to be on facebook is because people who are near and dear to my heart, I keep in touch with them, the ones I don't want to are out there on-line somewhere la

2.) Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks are shoes for display only and not for women to strut around Central in. Wear comfortable shoes or risk blisters or very fucked up looking toes. I have two, you want to see?

3.) Invest in quality clothes - you seriously do not need a lot of clothes, you just need clothes that are you

4.) Brand Natalie - I am proud to say, when I go shopping with my friends, they can point things out and say - Nat this is so you! Thank you ah!

5.) Work out - not to just be thin or anything. There is nothing more satisfying than having a body that continues to surprise you in many ways.

6.) Eat better - When you work out, you try to eat better. When they say; you are what you eat, you are as well what you do not eat.

7.) Love what you do - I think this is one of the most important things. The older I get, the more certain I am of passion will at the end triumphant over the need of making money. It would be great to be able to combine both but at the end of the day, I have realised that, being happy is so much more rewarding. This hedge fund manager I know, took home USD 3 million dollars last year but however from Mondays to Thursdays, she doesn't sleep soundly. Her mind is constantly about trading. I'd love to have the type of money she makes but I love myself too much

8.) Think before you speak. I used to have such a fiery temper and a quick mouth - I can't tell you how many friends I have lost because of shit that have came out of my mouth. Now, I prefer to bite my tongue for 10 seconds before I speak or else, just develop - selective hearing.

9.) Be business savvy - by the time you're 30, you want to think about how to maximise your earnings and you need to know how to work on your finances. I have to thank my man for that because if it wasn't for him; I won't understand the importance of investments.

10.) Read because when you don't read, your soul has no depth.